Episode eight:
Best Sellers That Scratch That Itch
Use the chapter headings and panels to navigate through the contents of the transcript.
Contents
- A Coronation Street budget (0:00)
- Bad Appliances (10:21)
- The chest of endless suffering (14:26)
- EDGERUNNERS (21:06)
- Must watch Animation (29:42)
- Connecting with a new cast of characters (30:56)
- Silly ol' Star Trek (36:01)
- Nicomund The Red (45:57)
- The worst character in fiction (52:08)
- Tom Bomboclat (01:02:00)
- Another foreshadowing (01:06:55)
- Into the Hensonverse (01:10:23)
- The downfall of Americas favourite family (01:15:17)
- The secret to making Mike feel a Tingle (01:21:02)
- Seriously, where's The Albatross? (01:28:44)
More transcripts coming soon...
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0:00
No, there's a character in Hawkeye called EE's like a Daredevil character from comics.
Anyway, yeah, the main villain, secret villain that ended up being in Hawkeye was Wilson Fisk.
He was actually the Kingpin behind the scenes.
0:18
I said no pun intended, but he's that's what he's called.
He was the Kingpin in bed scenes, and it's also his name.
Anyway, Echo's his adopted daughter and her thing, her gimmick, so to speak, is she's deaf.
Yeah, she's deaf, so she can see, but she uses like, good sense of echolocation.
0:40
I don't know, Comics are weird.
Is she?
She's she was like a Daredevil antagonist in the comics for ages.
Even though she's deaf, she can use echolocation.
What is it like Daredevils?
Daredevil does the thing with his ears.
She she sees better.
0:55
Oh, she's just going to look at it.
Yeah, but she's deaf and Daredevils blind.
And that's why in the comics they were like opposing forces.
They were like rivals for a bit, because they've always got to.
In comics, you've always got to fight someone that's not similar to you, but different.
1:11
You know what I mean?
And obviously so he's called Daredevil because.
Natural enemies.
Yeah, and she's called Echo because of her really good seeing skills.
But yeah, she's fallen there.
She hears everything unmuted and stuff.
And she's like Kingpin's adopted daughter, so to speak.
1:28
And I watched the first episode of Echo because Daredevil was in a in a flashback from, you know, I can't remember if it was a flashback to the Daredevil show and they're like sort of like shoehorn doing a little bit, you know, from the Netflix one.
Or it was a flashback to the Hawkeye show and the shoehorn Daredevil in a little bit.
1:44
I can't remember it when, but I just watched it so I could see Daredevil on TV like kicking ass again.
It was a really good fight scene.
And Daredevil was in briefly in She Hulk.
Again, really good show.
I enjoyed it.
A lot of people didn't but because it's a woman and they had bad CGI.
Yeah, to be 1st to see to.
2:01
See Charles and.
It wasn't awful.
There were some shots that look better than others, and there were some shots that obviously they spent more time on that they spent more time on the action shots and stuff.
But there was some light moments where she was like in a lawyer suit walking in the background.
I'm like, yeah, it doesn't look the best, but people forget this is ATV budget.
2:18
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they were expecting it to look as high quality as the films.
It's not like a sort of like ACW Flash Arrow situation where everything does look dog shit and no one gives it shit for looking like dog shit because they give it the exclusive.
Oh, it's on The CW.
Oh, it's ATV show.
2:34
You know what I mean?
If you still got Warner Brothers money behind them, yeah, there's no excuse for like, Oh no, because it's Disney.
They should have more money and just spend more money on it.
And I believe that they do because I don't know if you ever watched Falcon in The Winter Soldier.
I think I was like the first main Marvel TV.
Oh no, it was one division, which was the first main one really good.
2:52
But Falcon and Winter Soldier was the first one that had like full on big movie set action scenes.
Like the first episode was like Falcon flying through the Grand Canyon chasing some jets.
I'm like, holy shit, this is this is ATV show.
This is like movie quality.
And I think the Star Wars shows get the same fucking bad rap as I was.
3:12
Like it looks a bit dog shit, don't it?
Oh, you can see the set.
I'm like, Oh yeah, because it's, it's ATV show, you know, it's got a fucking Coronation Street budget the same.
Budget that EastEnders has.
3:28
I see.
I wonder what EastEnders?
I imagine if you break it down, a Marvel show is usually about 10 episodes per season, if that.
It might not even get a second season.
Sometimes they don't need it because at the end of the day, a Marvel show, a Marvel film or whatever, they're all a spin off of a spin off or something because they all they're all in the same world.
3:48
You don't need two seasons of one division because Agatha all along picked up where that left off kind of thing, you know, filled in some blanks.
You know, you don't need a second season of Falcon and The Winter Soldier because Captain America falls coming out with the Falcon as Captain America.
4:05
And that covers the what would be season 2 of that or and then Johnny Walker from that show.
The bad Captain America is going to be in Thunderbolts.
You know, you don't need spin offs and you don't need things to get season 2 when it comes to Marvel.
4:20
The stories will be told further on down the line somewhere else.
But yeah, anyway, so you get 10 episodes of a Marvel show, probably like 10 million an episode, whatever.
Some probably something silly like that.
Maybe more, maybe less.
I don't know.
I don't know budget, but Coronation Street, that's not ten episodes, that's about 309 episodes a year.
4:42
So collectively, let's say a season of EastEnders goes from like the year like you say.
Oh yeah, EastEnders season 1998 or season 2001 is what you'd call it, I guess because it's just the year.
5:00
That budget I reckon might be bigger or on par with a 10 episode.
I don't know.
They do have the luxury of just filming in the same fucking place for 360 odd days.
Yeah, I mean the set was built.
5:15
In the fucking set because yeah, they've never updated it.
Them cobbles have never been fixed.
Pay them over.
They're an elf passer.
Good tripping them high heels.
Chilly.
She she seems like an EastEnders person to wear high heels.
There's all the one who's always wearing leopard print.
5:32
Leopard print.
Tiger print?
No, it's leopard print.
Cold.
It's oh hot Butcher.
Is that what you're talking about?
No, she's the old, old woman I'm thinking of.
She's still.
Like.
Yeah, yeah, she.
Did.
5:48
I'm thinking of like the the kind of phrase the tarty looking one Big red lipstick.
Oops in her ears again.
Pat Butcher.
But what the fuck was her name like?
Jack Blacker?
Fox Mulder.
No.
Oh, I was going to say someone in like the 40s.
6:07
Maybe 50s, no, But when I watched it as a kid, I was like, yeah, MILF, yeah.
I was like, she's always fucking fucking about.
She's always.
I was gonna say fucking.
About.
I said I was gonna say faffing and walking.
6:25
So it's faffing about in high heels or walking about in high heels, but it came out fucking about, which could also be something to do with fracking maybe.
So she's.
Always like.
Drilling for oil.
Illegally drilling for like a natural gas deposit.
6:43
Yeah, I was fracking about.
Fucking I can't think what the actual place is called.
East End, just in the middle of the square, Albert Square.
It's a big sort of like triangular structure just gone up in Albert Square and well, that guy who looks like Morrison, who she was married to, can't remember anyone's name.
7:10
Alfie.
Moon Alfie.
Yeah.
Alfie's like cat.
What you doing, cat?
Dad be fracking in the middle of the square, Dad do it.
Ain't worth it.
It's illegal.
And then Cat Slater looks him, goes fuck off, Alfie.
Frack around and find out.
7:33
Meanwhile looking like an absolute bad bitch in Leprechaun while some hot, hot sweaty buildings are just in the background.
Swinging mallets at concrete.
Feeling a little bit?
Feeling a little bit of love Have this glass of nice fucking pine dabs a pine on his forehead.
7:53
Oh thanks love.
Honestly, we should just take over the script right?
I remember the fracking saga.
When they build, remember those 20 episodes?
Well, yeah, because they got to build it.
8:09
It works in real time.
Like I'm sure like when they did COVID, all the episodes are about COVID for about 3 fucking years.
I'm sure the characters all that they would have had to address it.
Like keep your fucking distance.
8:25
Fucking yeah, 3 feet, 6 feet, who gives a fuck?
Do you reckon they're like millionaire wealthy or just like hundreds of thousands of pounds wealthy?
I.
Think some of them are probably millionaire wealthy.
8:42
I don't.
I don't think every member of the cast is more.
I suppose it depends.
Yeah, because some of them have been acting in there since they were fucking 17.
I know they're like 93.
It's like they just lock them in.
So yeah, a cumulative wealth maybe, but unless and when they joined in the fucking 70s and they're still in it now, they had a really shitty contract that's never been updated and they get paid like £20 an episode or an appearance.
9:11
But you know, no, because like I was watching position episode of Taskmaster this moment, it was one of the Australian ones and the task was make the Co host a better man.
You know, how are you going to improve him?
So one of one of the comedians takes his phone and his pant details and donates 1000 lbs to charity and he actually did it.
9:33
And then as he's doing it, you want to do this right mate, you're a better man.
Just fucking donate 1000 lbs to this charity sort of thing.
I think you can see on the guy's face like the Alex Horn character who's not played by Alex Horn because it's Australian literally going off Buck.
No, that's a lot of money just to be given.
9:48
It's like you're like on TV and you're like a, a known comic in Australia.
You're like, you know, and I used, they just put it in perspective that oh, you know, some of these people are just a bit more down to earth if they are sweating over about losing a grand, you know, I'd sweat about losing over a grand.
10:04
Yeah, definitely.
Exactly.
I could live with it.
I wouldn't be happy about it, but I'd be sweating about it, you know what I mean?
I mean for me payday's like 3 weeks of waste.
Yeah.
So if I if I lost over my grand then I'd be like what the fuck am I going to do then?
10:21
I almost had to fork out 400 to £800 as well like this weekend.
Well I woke up in the morning feeling.
I woke up in the morning and making breakfast.
Got the milk out the fridge all good.
10:36
Pour the milk in at my cereal and I went to open the fridge door.
The light just wasn't on on the fridge.
What the fuck?
And I thought maybe the bulb began in the fridge because it was literally just on the milk was still cold and and then I'm checking it and it doesn't feel cold.
10:53
So maybe the when I open the fridge, the light was no, the light that I thought I saw was subconscious or I didn't check because I swore down the light was on.
But as I'm touching down the side, you know, like the side of fridges are really hot.
It wasn't hot at all.
Checked in the freezer, everything was still pretty much just frozen in there, but there was no noise coming from it.
11:13
There was no home, you know, I mean, there was no electric home.
Yeah, I had to set off for work within like 3 minutes of this happening.
And I'm pulling the fridge out and it's been so long since I've, like set up the fridge thing.
The plug for the fridge is behind a panel.
11:29
So like it's like a wooden panel that you have to unscrew to access behind it.
So like whenever I moved in, it was like there was a, just a, a hole I guess in, in like a countertop and they thought fill that all in.
We'll just put a board across it and screw it in.
But there's a plug socket behind there that I couldn't access.
11:47
So I'm thinking, oh fuck, it's going to be the fuse.
It's going to be there.
So it's going to be something I hope it's the fuse because if it's the fuse easier replaced, I don't have to buy a new fucking fridge.
Anyway, I couldn't sort this out anyway because I had to go to work.
I rang my mum like when I'm at work asking if she was near where I live or if she was off today and stuff and I was like, is there any chance you could go and check, see if the fuse needs replacing?
12:12
If not, I'm going to have to start looking for fridges.
Otherwise all my food in my freezer's going to go off.
You know, chicken, fish, whatever.
You can't let that go bad then it's wasted.
So, but if it's just the fuse, do you mind replacing it for me?
It'll be a big help and then I don't have to waste any fruits.
She's like, yeah, yeah, I'll nip over and do it.
12:29
Turns out it's just the plug that didn't work because she took off the panel and so if I explained where the plug was.
Well, the socket.
The wall socket, the plug works fine, but the socket is the thing that doesn't work.
Which is weird because my mom, my mom said when she tested it, she went, she plugged the kettle into it and then the cattle wouldn't turn on.
12:48
She plugged the microwave into it, the microwave wouldn't turn on, but she plugged the fridge into where the microwave is plugged in and it works.
So I don't have to fork out £800 which is fine but no need for.
I was meant to buy an adapter today but I completely fucking forgot so I can have like my fridge on my microwave plugged in.
13:05
Something similar happened to me, that chest freeze I've got.
Oh yeah, forgot it.
Took a bit of thinking.
I was trying to make a joke about your chest being a freezer, but I gave up.
Yeah.
Yeah, the chest freeze I've got, unbeknownst to me.
13:22
Have you not got a freezer at the bottom of the fridge or is that just one big fridge?
I have a fridge freezer which is 1 singular unit.
Yeah, I mean an extra freezer box.
On the like in the corner next to the doorway.
Yeah, why do you have like a shit?
Why do you need 2 freezers?
1 bath?
Yeah, a little bit.
13:37
What do you think I need?
I'm always running out of room for my frozen chicken.
Well, that's the thing, isn't it?
Fridge freezer combo you don't often get a lot of you don't get for the things that you actually want to pour.
I've got like 18 bags of like chicken thighs and though, yeah. 18 Well, God.
13:54
It's more like 3 or 4, but in the bags it's probably about cumulatively about. 18 Oh my, SO that's something.
So when you say like, oh, let's see what I've got in, I've got exactly 37 chicken thighs.
I've got I don't 16 potato waffles.
14:11
I don't keep stock.
I don't have stock on the side of the fridge.
I just have a ballpark.
There's a couple of slabs of fish in there as well.
Whatever you could.
Fillets, Yeah, fish fillets, a couple of them in there.
Fillets, yeah, But yeah, ice had built up around where the lid is, and it was a jar.
14:31
If it was a chest freezer, it's.
A chest freezer, but they always open slightly all.
Right, right.
OK.
Those open slightly.
So the freezer is essentially working all the time to keep things in a frozen state.
Yeah.
And at some point the most would burn out.
14:47
So everything that was in that chest freezer thawed out and then and then was just.
But the freezer was fine.
Oh yeah, right.
But it sank.
Did you have a puddle of water as well?
Yeah.
I need I need to defrost my freezer.
The bottom drawer in my freezer.
Like I don't know why it over freezes itself.
15:05
I think all freezers do it but like each shelf on the freezer.
I don't know if all freezers were like this or it's just my shitty cheap freezer.
Each shelf on the freezer.
Like you can't pull out the shelves on the freezer because each shelf of its own like piping unit which creates frost.
15:20
Oh yeah, yeah.
So the top shelf is kind of fine, but the bottom one, the bottom side of it is just accumulated or frost.
So that drawer is lost to a time.
I just cannot get into the bottom drawer.
There's one microwavable meal in there.
I've not had a microwavable meal since I've since May because I've just not.
15:42
But that's the last one in there and I can't access it anywhere.
But I've not bought any any margaritable meals since.
And I've been cooking my own food and whatnot and just eating better.
But it's just like I look at it and I can see it through the like frosted plastic glass.
I'm like, yeah, you're in there for life.
16:00
Me, but you can never defrost it because like when I'm running low on like chicken and fish, which is probably the only frozen food.
I have a couple of burgers as well.
If I'm feeling fancy, if I want to cheat and stuff like those burgers, and I mean if I'm if I if I want a cheat meal, I mean I'm cheating with a burger.
16:18
I'm getting these.
They're advertised as burgers with cheese built in them.
You know, like they're already in.
Oh wow.
OK.
So.
But they're not.
They're not like burgers with cheese already on the inside.
You get 2 burgers in there and one of the burgers is 2 burgers frozen together with cheese in it, so 1.
16:36
So you get 4 burgers really, but it's two parties frozen together with cheese in the in the middle of them.
But they're advertising that as like burgers with cheese inside.
But it's not because the burgers are fucking fat anyway and as soon as you cook them anyway, they're all sliding about.
16:52
So it means would be two burgers.
So yeah, I want to cheat on burgers.
I cheat on burgers.
That's a very fatty meal.
But to just finish off my chest freezer story, every so often I'd catch this whiff of like what right?
17:08
And I'd be like and I couldn't smell it anymore.
But just what it's like a dining room in it.
I was like walking with the dining room way and he just wasn't there anymore.
But then.
The opposite of when a cartoon character smells a really nice pie on the shell.
Talk to the chest.
17:26
But yeah, instead of floating over because you're into costume, like it's not, you're floating, but you don't know where you're floating to.
So yeah, like, and then I'd just not smell it again for like a week and a week and a half.
And I just catch a whiff as I was walking through and I go, what the fuck is that?
And I'd like, and I'd been looking around near where the door is to the hallway.
17:44
Yeah, because that's where I call with of it.
And I was like, well, there's no, I don't even keep food here anyway.
Like what?
What could it possibly be?
So I was looking about that smell had gone another week or so ago by whatever.
Maybe you need to see a nose doctor.
So, so I was getting ready to go to work one morning, which is like 5:00 in the morning, right?
18:07
And I've got my shoes on, I have to go now sort of thing.
And I catch the whiff again.
I'm just at the column eye.
I noticed that the door is just open slightly of the chest freezer.
And you saw some eyes.
So.
Get some guy been living in your chest ice box for three weeks.
18:26
So I lift this.
And he was dead.
I lift this dog was the rot right and.
This smell flooded the entirety of my dozers.
When was this?
Oh.
This was like a month ago, No, About about two months ago, I bet.
18:43
Well, I think basically, but I find everything different.
Right.
And I lifted it up and I instantly started retching and I'm thinking like this smell is going to permeate all of my downstairs if I don't sort it now.
Yeah, even though I have to leave for work, I have to fucking deal with it.
19:00
So I put on like 3 or 4 face masks which help for about two seconds before this smell forces away in anyway.
This way through the nose pads.
So I've got these fucking maggles on my fucking bin bag and I'm just like scooping this rotten food into this bin bag so I can seal it, get it at the outside bin quick.
19:27
Maggots.
Any maggots?
No maggots.
Thank folks.
Yeah.
They love rot.
Oh, did they do?
No I don't.
No I'd never understood.
Like you'll have food in the bottom of a bin and bottom of a fridge sealed off for time.
What are the maggots coming from?
They just.
19:42
Magic.
Grow up like they just appear.
I honestly never said I've had food like grow up like I've seen maggot infested food before.
I'm like, how did you get in there?
Who like did you, did you evolve from the from the seeds of the apple?
19:59
Were they maggot eggs?
Is that what seeds are?
Are they maggot eggs?
Yeah, you meant to regularly defrost your freezer because it does that build up.
You are supposed to, yeah.
The problem is with that when my freezer's running low, I buy more food for my freezer.
20:14
Yeah, and freezer food lasts for fucking ages.
So you either have to make a conscious decision to go.
I've not got a lot of food in my freezer.
I have to bin it and just call it a loss.
I have to bin what's in my freezer, call it a loss, start again, defrost it.
20:31
But I don't want to call it a loss because I've got a lot of fucking chicken.
I have 37 chicken I've. 37 chicken ties.
I've got 2 Philly fishes.
I've got 2 cheesy cheesy burgers, double cheesy burgers.
I've got a microwave or meal that kind of happens.
I've got 2 double cheesy lies.
21:06
Anyway, welcome to the episode of Charts in the Cube.
Seems like a good enough, yeah?
Good enough.
Segue point going to leave in gap so you can put a Jingle in there.
Yeah, welcome.
Right now, perfect.
21:24
He's not gonna have a Jingle, he's just gonna have that little pop of her escaping from my mouth.
Yeah, the jingles gonna be now.
I don't know why I have to hold my breath during the entire song.
Oh Lord, I'll tell you what I've watched recently like.
21:40
Is it going to be exactly what I watched last night?
Because if it is, that'd be fucking weird it.
Would be fucking weird.
Violent night last night.
Oh, I haven't been meaning to watch it.
It is.
I know, I know, so good.
It was prompted for me to watch this because ever so often we.
21:57
Prompted you a little devil on your shoulder.
Do it, watch it, put it on.
No.
Don't you regret it forever?
I'm the other shoulder now.
I figured.
Yeah, yeah, but the audience might not figure because because the voices were similar and the audience didn't see me do this.
22:15
Give it a watch.
No.
Don't you regret it?
Well, not put it on.
Well, if they were paying attention, they would have seen you this time, wouldn't they?
Yeah, with the rears.
Yeah.
What?
What did you?
What were you forced to watch?
Because every so often you will send me a TikTok call.
22:33
Oh yeah, me sad thing.
And I'll be like, oh shit, I think that he thinks I've seen this so.
It'd be really funny if I've not even seen it.
Yeah, of course you've seen.
It I don't know.
Well, not yet, because I've not told you.
Yeah, like on Wednesday or Thursday, whenever it was.
22:52
I watched all of edge runners.
Oh, Cyberpunk, I knew you hadn't seen it.
I just sent you things to prom you to watch it.
Subtly making a forceful gesture.
What did you think?
Really enjoyed it's so.
Fucking good, really.
I've been meaning to rewatch it again.
23:09
Did you cry?
I did.
When did you?
Talk before we started recording.
We're talking about crying.
Did you want to mention it?
But you were saving it for this.
No, no, no, no.
Well it it did.
It did cross my mind, but I did want to talk to you about edge runners.
23:25
What whilst we were doing this anyway, that's that's the only reason why I stopped.
When you talk about Edge run, a lot of it will be reminding me because it came out like, what, over a year ago now?
Yeah.
So again, I've only watched it the once, but all I remember off the top of my head is him just succumbing to cyber psychosis.
23:46
What was it?
Jason?
Jason something M something Martinez, David, David David Martinez and the love relationship that he had and then her wanted to go on the moon and then that song and then just being sad.
24:04
Yeah.
Is it is it prompt you to want to actually like get the game and have a proper go at it?
No, no.
That's something I did with me because like when the game came out, I enjoyed it, but I didn't stick with it because it was in a sorry state as well.
And I played it up until I played it up until a point where I got a permanent glitch, which was the mission where you're controlling the tank.
24:27
And after that mission, the UI of the tank was just always on screen.
So like the red fuel and the ammo thing on the side and you couldn't get rid of it at all.
And that was just stuck there forever.
So when the PS-5 update came out, I left it for a bit.
24:43
I watched Edge Runners.
I was like, fuck, I really want to revisit that world, knowing that they'd put Edge Runners content into the game as well.
And there's some references to David Martinez and the whole Edge Runners crew in the game.
I was like, I really want to play the game.
So then I did, and I absolutely fell in the wood.
24:58
It's one of my favourite RPGs ever.
And obviously when you're driving around a night saying that fucking song comes on just like, yeah, just stuff flashbacks.
Well, I mean, I'm not saying that I don't ever wanna play the game.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
25:14
What I'm saying is, is that the series didn't prompt me to want to play the game.
The series made me want another series.
They are doing not another series of edge runners, but they are they did announce a couple of weeks ago they are doing another series and anime series set in the same world with different characters.
25:33
So that's.
True.
Yeah.
I mean, it would.
It would have to be, yeah.
Well, yeah, so it's just as good as an Edge runner.
Season 2.
I don't know what it'll be about, but it might be about, I don't know.
It could be about car post, it could be about the fucking police.
I don't, I don't know, but it'd be about something.
Yeah, it will be about something.
25:51
If I know anything it.
Would be about something.
I love it when things are about other things.
My favorite?
But yeah, one of the things that I liked about it is that most of the deaths, yeah, it's almost, there's no meaning behind it.
26:10
There's no like build up, there's no grand gesture.
There's no this or that.
It's just or they are dead.
Now, I mean, David's VF was a bit of a grand gesture, but I guess he's the main character.
There were two, yeah.
One of them was David's because, yeah, he is the main character.
26:27
Yeah.
The other one was Maine.
The only reason why he got a bit more of a grand aspect to his death was because it's.
It was shit.
I can't think of the word that I want.
It's.
Unceremonious or I can't remember?
26:44
I can't remember the character.
Everything else was on same ones.
He was the leader of the gang.
Right.
The reason why they spent more time on him and his death is because he was going through cyber psychosis and it was it was just showing you that this is going to happen to Dave.
27:00
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, do.
You know what I mean?
What's the fucking?
I can.
I can't think of the fucking.
Foreshadowing.
Foreshadowing.
Yeah, there you go.
There's a, there's a bit in the game where if you go to, you know, David's tower block, the big yellow one, I think it's like #4 or #7 even before they animated, that tower block was cordoned off by police stuff.
27:24
It's cordoned off by police stuff because of the events of Edge Runners.
You go down on the back alleys or go to trash, you can get David Martinez's jacket and you can find a Abd which a brain dance, which is essentially like how you can live through like sort of somebody's word.
27:40
And it's just like footage of the anime, not recreated in the game, which would have been cool, but it's just straight up footage from the anime.
But it's can't remember.
I remember the scene, but I can't remember the context of it.
It's like there's a police car.
I think Adam smashes the some big some people get shot or the load of police get shot.
27:58
It could be from the first episode, but yeah, that plays out.
I think there's a cop car involved.
Just a lot of guns and a lot of cyber psycho.
There might be a cyber psycho attack that the police have seen too.
Yeah, yeah, that was in the first episode.
Yeah, that's what you see if you find where David's jacket is, which I think is pretty cool just to put that in the game anyway.
28:18
But because this takes place hang on like a week or two weeks before the game starts, might be be a year before the game starts or something like that.
In Afterlife, the bar in the game, they gimmick is everyone who's like a unsung fallen hero in Night City has a drink named after them.
28:38
Obviously Johnny Silverhands has a drink named after them, but all of the Edge rumors have their own drinks named after them, which I think is really cool.
It is cool.
So you can just like have a martinis or you can have a whatever the other characters are called that I forget.
But yeah, the Internet really like that little tiny girl.
28:55
They shouldn't have been really like it.
Don't know how old she was, but she's clearly a tiny little girl.
Rebecca Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, she's just small.
I'm pretty sure that she's of age.
No, no, she is of age.
They've confirmed she's of.
29:10
Age, that's what you've made concern.
But the the way they've even the people who created the it's fucking is it trigger you did it.
I don't know.
Oh.
Fuck I.
Don't know.
It's Shaggy.
No, he's the fucking weeb.
Yeah, but even the the creators, Yeah, we, we knew we drew a lot, right.
29:32
We know what our audience is like.
You're fucking freaks.
You're like a tiny woman with big guns, don't you?
But yeah, no.
Really enjoyed it.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
If only blue Eye Samurai was more popular in the Internet zeitgeist.
I could send you TikTok memes of blue Eye Samurai and.
29:50
That'll be sitting scrolling through the things you said.
Be going fuck fuck I have to watch that now.
Blue eyed Samurai is fucking amazing.
I know I'm going to get to it.
I can't.
Just rain.
Yeah, I'm going to get to it.
I'm going.
To that'll make you want a season 2 as well and it'll be very angry when you find out it's not getting a season 2.
30:09
But it's so goddamn good.
Apparently there is going to be season 2 of Blue Eyed Samurai though.
Honestly the animation of those shows very very different.
Same with edge runners.
Because I'm not biggest biggest anime fan but I like some anime.
It's not all of it, but like I really like the Castlevania ones as well but I've not seen the latest one.
30:30
No, I've not seen the latest one either have.
You seen the all the others though the season 1 which was like 3.
Episodes long, remember.
There were seasons.
Two seasons I think I've definitely seen.
Yeah, Season 3 is really good.
And then obviously it ends and everyone gets to send off and stuff.
30:46
And then so it's weird when they do because the next season, it's not really a season.
It's just more of a another show in that world because it's set a couple of 100 years after, just like the Castlevania games.
I guess I always find it really hard to like reconnect with new characters from the same show.
Yeah.
31:01
Because like I had that trouble with with Star Trek because like even with every series that I've moved on from watch the original series, I'm worried that I'm not going to lie Next Generation because it's not Kirk and the gang.
It's yeah, I know I'm done with The Next Generation or the Next Generation films.
31:19
I'm on Deep Space 9.
I'm like, it took me about 3 off the longer than that told me about 10 episodes.
So I kind of started getting a vibe for this cast, this new cast and this new scenario and setting this the adjustment period.
I'm like, because for ages I was just watching, it was on in the background.
31:36
I weren't really paying attention.
Fucking Deep Space 9 is pretty boring.
Pretty boring.
No one's going on adventures.
I'm fucking about.
Because the promise, the promise, the concept of Deep Space 9 is premise.
That's what I'm looking for.
31:52
Thank you.
You're welcome.
The premise of Deep Space 9.
Whereas original Star Trek and Next Generation and the films, they're on a ship exploring the fucking Galaxy, going on adventures, finding hot alien babes to fuck.
Deep Space 9 is essentially a space show set in a fucking airport and they work in customs essentially and they stay put on a space station.
32:17
This isn't selling it.
It's not selling it to me anyway.
It's not.
But I will say plot wise, it's better written.
It's less formulaic from the original shows because the original show was always something bad happened at the start.
32:35
They go on adventure, there'll be a planet there.
Oh look, there's a new planet.
There's this planet with three people on it.
We need to help them.
There's a fucking gas cloud.
You know, shit like that.
Or we'll do an episode where we go back in time.
32:51
In the 19 episodes I've watched so far of Deep Space 9, I'm on the last episode of Season 1.
There's only been one episode which has been all right.
They're back on the fucking bullshit again.
The silly Star Trek, the silly Star Trek gimmick where I don't like it because it's fucking silly and goofy.
33:08
So an episode where Rumpelstiltskin turns off, he's just Rumpelstiltskin and he's just the like, naturally it's explained away with like there's some warp Dr. malfunction while someone was in the holodeck and something or something.
33:33
Know everything we think about our fantasies become real.
So yeah, Rumpelstiltskin because some guy was reading a Rumpelstiltskin story to his daughter.
No, Rumpelstiltskin exists and it's like all intents and purposes.
Sorry, no, no, I should make noises.
33:51
This guy's actually alive.
And then there's a point of the episode where they're all going towards a fucking black hole or some shit or some absolute stuff that's going to end them all.
Rumpelstiltskin's like, you know, I can get you out of this situation.
34:08
And then this Irish guy, the guy who was like a, he was like a character in Next Generation, but he transferred over to Deep Space 9.
But he's like a main character now.
You'll know the actor, he's the Irish guy who was in Curly Heard.
Irish guys, You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
He's called O'Brien in the show because obviously Irish, but Rumpelstiltskin's like, you know, I can.
34:30
I can get rid of this wormhole fire right now.
Well, you can do that.
But yeah, I'm real and I've got all my magic powers from the stereotypes.
I can get rid of this fucking for this fucking warp thing that's going to destroy the space station.
So.
Oh, yeah, please.
Yeah, do that.
What will it cost you?
34:46
Your daughter's life maybe and then O'Brien is seriously considering he's the newborn.
I said newborn.
She's a toddler.
She's about 3 and and his wife's right next to him and she's giving him this lot going no, and he's like going your daughter's life to save everybody else's life.
35:04
That's a little rumpy Skilskin deal in it, which is like something rumpy Skilskin would do.
But the fact that he even considers it anyway, the captain, the commander of the space station, Cisco, is all like, no, we'll not do this.
35:21
And then O'Brien's like, but, but, but, Sir, everyone's going to die.
No, we won't.
You know why?
Because that thing that is we're all heading towards right now, just like Rumpelstiltskin, this famous baseballer from 1938, and these hot babes that this other guys fantasize about, it's all made-up for play with our heads.
35:42
I know it and that's what I'm sticking with.
Turns out he was right.
And then as soon as he says that I think they'll just fucking vanish.
That was it.
But I will say the quality episode's better written.
There's more emotion and heart, it's a lot more serious in tone.
35:58
But some of the episodes they just don't know how to end.
This is 1 episode, pretty generic basic plotters in there's this guy who lives on this moon is the only one there.
He's got a couple of people with him, but the moon needs to be harvested for something inside the moon to benefit a race of people on another planet somewhere.
36:16
So the Federation have to move this guy along.
But this guy's already set in his ways.
He came to this moon like 20 odd years ago.
He's built his old farm, he's got his own farmland there.
He doesn't want to move.
He's like, but you're going to die.
But if you move me off this planet, I don't want to live anymore.
This is where I live.
36:32
This is my home.
You know that whole up thing like we've got to cut down your house.
You got to make way for this Expressway.
It'll benefit.
It's that stubborn old man going no, I'm not doing it, I'm not doing it.
That's the entire of the plot.
He's got a sob story while he's staying.
He's got dead wife, shit like that.
36:48
He's set in his ways.
He does not want to move.
He's like if you have to blow up this moon to harvest what's inside and I die, I'm fine with that.
I'm just going to carry on breaking up my kiln and literally the entire episode is building this kiln.
They lay a brick a day.
Like occasionally you'll see him just lathering up with his cement and he'll place 1 brick on the kill and be like, oh, that's another day done whatever.
37:10
And the, the officer that was sent to like kind of extract him, kind of like sort of sides with him.
And then she's all like, you know what, fuck the Federation.
If this guy wants to stay and die, I say we allow him.
Who are we to say take this man away from this planet, rehome him, move into a planet where he's not familiar with, so start again from scratch.
37:30
You know, if he doesn't want to do that in his last remaining 15 years of life, why the fuck should we?
If this man wants to die on this planet, we let him die on this planet.
Understandable, right?
She, she starts siding with him.
But then the Federation are all like, no, that's not how we do things.
37:47
We have to save this man's life.
All life's precious.
We have to evacuate him and we'll do it by force if we will.
We'll just take him off the planet by force.
She's like, you're either winners or against us.
You can just stay with him and die if you don't want to be part of the Federation because you'll lose your fucking job if you carry on this road you're going down.
38:03
Or you can man up and evacuate him, get him off the planet.
We'll forcefully get him out there.
We'll rehome him on some other planet.
The episode ends where she decides to go with the Federation.
She puts a badge back on.
She's packing up all these bags.
She puts all this shit on the front lawn and she's like, what are you doing?
38:19
I'm getting you out of.
I'm saving your life because your life's.
And it's like, I don't, I don't want to be saved.
I don't want my life to be saved.
No, we go in two to be more credits roll.
To me, that's not the end of the episode, but.
Wait, you're telling me that they could have just beamed him up anyway?
38:35
Oh yeah.
Fucking do that.
Against his will, he needed to be willing, I guess.
He's still not.
Willing.
No, I know he's not, but no, I know.
Stupid episode.
Literally I was honestly, it was good all the way that the beaming things are such a fucking.
It makes no sense because like, even throughout Next Generation, I'm like, you go to the fucking transporter room, right?
38:57
To beam down to a planet, OK, makes sense, right?
But there's certain aspects of it where like someone will be on a planet and they'll go beaming right up to sickbay.
OK, so what's the point of the fucking transporter room?
That to me makes the transporter room move because it's like if I can take someone from a planet, target him, beam him straightly to a different room that's not the transporter room, what's the point of the transporter room?
39:23
I saw the pageantry of it I.
Suppose yeah, I guess because there's so many instances where you can just beam anyone from anywhere.
Like literally I'm on the ship just fires everywhere and I'm blocked off.
Beam me to the bridge.
Beam me straight to the bridge.
If someones operating the controls which are in the transporter room I guess.
39:42
So at least one person has to be has to be in the transport.
I guess.
But that's the operator a lot because he's there, it doesn't matter.
A lot of the times the controls for the transporter room just happen to be anywhere whenever it's convenient.
Especially if it's convenient.
39:58
Like oh shit we need this person transported and then someone will just turn around into a wall.
Done.
Honestly it's insane.
I don't understand the transporting technology in Star Trek because like whereas I get it.
In the in the original series, they would always make a point.
40:17
They wouldn't.
They would always be the transporter room.
They'd beam down from the planet from the transporter room, and every time they beamed up from anywhere, they'd be the transporter room.
And then they'd have to make the way to sick Bay from the transporter room.
They'd have to make the way to the bridge from the transporter room.
Yeah, makes sense to me.
40:32
But then in Next Generation they start getting faster and loose with it.
You just transport anyone from anywhere from a moving from a moving.
Vehicle.
Don't be like, oh, no, they've got Picard.
They're going away at warp 9 quick before we lose it.
Beaming.
40:49
The way beaming technology works, you've got to lock onto a target, right?
Yeah.
And if someone's moving at warp 9, what, 1's lightspeed, by the way, you know, there's no way you're beaming into someone.
Fuck off.
I don't think as, as a Star Trek rule, ships, what, 1?
41:06
They're in space and the ships are just moving all the fucking time anyway.
Even if they're stationary, they're kind of moving because yeah, yeah, yeah.
Celestial bodies are always moving.
Everything's, everything's in motion.
You should not be.
Maybe from a planet to another solid object that's not moving, but they've transported people from moving things a lot in the past, and it just doesn't sit right with me.
41:27
But it's just one of those things that you just go fuck it, accept it.
But yeah, no, she couldn't just beam them up at any time because we wouldn't get the whole sob story about him building this kiln.
That's what she fucking does.
Oh, it's so he lays the last brick of the kiln, right?
41:43
And she's like, if you're gonna take me off this planet, you're gonna have to burn this host stone and everything like that.
She goes to the kiln and she gets a stick.
She just starts torching his farm that he's built for fucking years.
And then she takes a fucking gun and blows up the kiln that they spent all episode working.
42:00
That's the end of the episode.
And then then she goes to to beam up so and I'm like, you fucking bitch.
So the missing ingredient for beaming someone up is bullying.
Yeah, yeah.
So.
In this man's life, she.
42:16
Sympathized with this man.
She sympathized with this man for the entire episode and then just blew up his livelihood a 100%.
That man would rather stay on that planet, rebuilt what he had in his remaining weeks and died because that's the place where he built up for himself rather than rehoming him.
42:35
Now he's got to start from scratch somewhere else.
And then when personally, I was like going, I am invested.
But at the same time, I'm like, I want that story.
Is it a Part 2 episode?
No, it just ends next week.
She's doing something else jolly like you just committed you.
You're a horrible woman.
42:51
You're supposed to be like the first officer.
I'm supposed to like you.
No, there's only one character.
There's only two characters I know by name in this series, and so far that's Odo.
There's some shape shifting.
Wet man.
Wet man.
43:07
Yeah.
It's a shapeshifter you can turn into anything, apparently.
A table, a chair, a person you can imitate, so he says.
I'm not saying do these things.
So he's a liar?
No, I have seen him shapeshift, but apparently he's the last of his species.
43:23
He doesn't know anything else.
He's never met any of his kind.
I'm sure that's going to come up at some point in a future episode.
Oh yeah, definitely.
But he has this rule where he, I, I kind of don't mind it.
It's not dumb.
It gives it sort of like legitimacy and feeling behind it.
43:39
But like he, his natural state is just a liquid.
You know, he has to, you know, he has to concentrate hard to have human shape and form, you know what I mean?
So every 16 hours, when it's specific, every 16 hours, he has to turn into a liquid and he can't, he can't hold shape.
44:01
He's got his own bucket in his office that he goes to, so we're turning to a liquid for a few hours.
He'll gather back his strength and he can be his humanoid form again.
And he's the security officer.
So you know all you have to do if you want to do any crimes or any security, just watch his clock for a couple of days, figure out his 16 hour schedule and go, yeah, 16 hours.
44:24
Fucking do what we want.
And the security is.
Is in the bucket again.
You need to do is wait for him to go into his office.
When he's in the bucket, just put a lid on it.
Just Scapa tape it and throw it out on her walk.
That's old Odo Gunway.
44:42
Yeah, just flush it.
Download.
Say there's 10 people right infiltrated.
Deep Space 9, they do a Die Hard on Deep Space 9, they're the terrorist and he's a wet John Mcclane.
So they just wait for him to get in the bucket.
Yeah.
And they all run in with straws and they all drink a bit of him.
45:00
Oh no, that'd be weird.
I don't know.
I don't know if that'd just need to.
Come in, he's not in.
He can't.
Surely he can't do something if he's now split into 10 different parts going through 10 different bodies.
That is true.
I don't know.
I have seen an instance where there was some dodgy aliens going on and then a table was thrown and then you see the glasses smash but one of the glasses was actually Odo and the glass sort of reforms in a very low budget liquid metal sort of style thing.
45:31
Ridiculous.
He's he's a cool guy.
I like that guy.
He's cool.
Odo's cool.
And then you've got the captain or not captain, commander, Commander.
I think he is.
He's called Cisco.
He's just a guy.
He's got a kid, which is boring.
He's no, he's no James Tiberius Kirk or I think William T Riker as well as I think they had a thing for like those characters having TS in the last name because just middle names like Tim or something.
45:57
Yeah.
So I watched Violent Night last night.
Tell me about it.
It's really good.
It's essentially it's essentially just die hard bought Father Christmas and it's violent, but which is fine sales pitch is already done for me.
But they, like, give Father Christmas like some character.
46:17
Why?
He's a bit haggard.
He's a bit fed up for Christmas.
You know, he's played by David Harvard.
He's that typical sort of mean, drunk sort of guy.
They gave him a history and they gave him back story.
There are too much into it.
But there's like some interesting law behind that world.
He he has these sort of line drops where he's talking to the kid on the walkie-talkie again.
46:35
It's like the kid is essentially Agent Powell.
Yeah.
Is he agent?
Probably wasn't an agent He.
Was a.
Sergeant Sergeant Powell.
Yeah.
The kid on the walkie-talkie is essentially Sergeant Powell, and that's who Father Christmas is talking to constantly.
Father Christmases are going like the kid her parents are going through like a divorce or shit.
46:55
Thing is like, can you make my mum and dad love each other again?
Typical Christmas kid shit.
And then Father Christmases are like, you know what, kids?
That's just one of the things I just can't do.
I wish I could grant that wish, but Christmas magic and all that shit, you don't work like that.
You know what?
47:10
Me and Mrs. Claus, I just, you know, when you've been with us something 111 years or 1011 years or something like that, relationships are hot, man.
And he doesn't really dive into it, but you're like, oh, that's a bit interesting, you know, And he's twiddling with his wedding ring.
47:30
It's like, so is he talking to his wife?
Is he Willy's wife?
You get hints of his past as well.
Like before he became Saint Nick, he was like a, an old Viking called like something something the red, like a long Viking name the red.
And he used to like, he was essentially like a Viking Kratos.
47:48
And he like he punished people and he had this like his favorite hammer called Skull Crusher.
And he would just go around and like obliterate people.
But he was like, he was like if there was a naughty life spot that no fucking I would have been #1.
But you never really learned how he became Father Christmas and how he became like, the guy to spread good cheer and everything, which to me is an interesting story.
48:07
But the fact that they give you these soul hints of worldbuilding and there is a flashback with David Abrin, full Viking get up in a Viking battle with his fat fucking armor.
Really fucking cool.
But they give him heart.
They give him character and shit like that.
And like, you know, he does care for the people that still believe in Christmas.
48:24
But, you know, but the way everybody reacts around him is like they're in a real hostage situation.
But yeah, Father Christmas just happens to be real and people don't believe it.
Some people do believe it.
But yeah, also John Leguizamo, I think his name is.
48:40
He's like the main villain.
He doesn't like Christmas because his dad didn't give him presents or some shit.
But yeah.
And then he'll he'll see like the most unhinged shit and he still won't believe that Father Christmas is real.
So like, he like this sack and it's empty.
48:56
It's essentially just a bag of holding.
You reach in, you pull out a present, you reach in, you pull out a present, whatever for that situation.
It's like, what the fuck's going on here?
So I'm going to say I think it's the real Father Christmas, one of his hench men.
And John Leguizamo was like, what?
He has one little trick back and all of a sudden you believe in him.
49:12
And then it's tied up and they're about for like, I don't know, kill him or something.
And he just does this thing with his nose and then he fucking pisses off up the chip.
He turns into dust and he pisses off up the chimney, right?
And he was like, holy shit, he just fucking pissed.
It's important.
There's no way he could have filled up the and John leg was almost like Nah, Nah.
49:29
It's some rope and pulley system guys.
He had it already rigged up home one.
He's not supposed to be here.
He's not on the manifest for the thing that you already scoped out.
Why would he rig up a rope and pulley situation to get him up a chimney that he can't fit, but no human can fit up and you're still not believing it.
49:48
Insane.
Also favorite line when he's taking on a bunch of villains, a bunch of shits like John Wick style, he's slashing him with a hammer and whatnot.
He's like he gets some ice skates, he's cutting throats, he decapitates a guy.
50:05
But meanwhile while he's doing all this, he's like sucking on a candy cane, but he just like sucking a candy cane until it gets like nice and sharp and then he like stabs some guy in the cheek with it and it goes through 1 cheek and out the other cheek.
And then he just says suck on this.
Which is really cool because I feel like that sort of shit isn't in films anymore.
50:23
I know it's a callback to like cheesy 80s nineties films, but I like to see it in modern films because I know in the like when they did it, when like Schwarzenegger threw a pipe at someone and told him to pipe down, I know when that was filmed and when it was done back then it was done with seriousness and it was cool.
50:46
Even though now, and even though it's shit and cheesy it is, I still think it's fucking cool just to have a shitty one liner bum.
It's all into little some steam.
Lot of some steam.
Yeah.
Not I'm sure.
I'm sure there was a moment where he hit some of the pipe and said pipe down.
51:03
Yeah, because he's got steam coming from his chest as well.
You are.
You are under the same.
Correct?
I convinced someone's hit someone with a pipe in a film and said pipe down.
Yeah, Violent Night.
As far as gimmicky Christmas films go, very good.
51:20
I've always got time for David Harbour.
I want to watch his house.
Yeah, I think he's a good actor.
Yeah, I've liked him in a lot of things.
I want to play Alone in the Dark.
I think it's the game that came out this year that he's in like a sort of AA budget game.
I don't.
Know if he's You know the one in the dark games, don't you?
51:36
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't.
I didn't know that he was a part of it though.
Yeah, he's you can play AS2 protagonists and male and female, they're both like known actors and David Harper just happens to be the main male protagonist, which to me is a big selling point.
And like from what I've heard from reviews, it's like a middle of the road bit janky, light horror AA experience.
51:58
To me.
That's absolutely fine.
You know, it's only 6 or 7 out of 10.
I'll drop that if it's on sale or, you know, I doubt it's even a full price thing.
I don't know.
Not totally.
I've been meaning to ask since last session.
Session, did you?
52:14
This is only because I want to segue into some books that I discovered recently.
I feel like if talking about your books, but yeah.
How far are you in Lord of the Rings?
Are they at the Shire yet?
I will tell you right now do.
Do do do do do do do do do do do do.
52:30
This is the looking for the Shire music.
What was the last time?
Like some like 1819 hours or something.
Like that?
Yeah, you've, you've listened to 19 hours.
No, no, no, I mean last session.
Oh yeah.
52:46
Yeah, I had about 18 1/2 hours left in there.
Yeah, 14 hours, 25 left.
They are at the Shiner.
They've just got to breathe.
Just the.
Cheese.
Yeah, yeah, exactly that.
53:01
They've just found the cheese.
Can't remember.
Where's Bree?
Is that ribbon down?
No, Bree is where the meeting is.
Aragon.
Yeah, so there are the.
Ponce and Paul.
Yeah, Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, yeah.
Which?
53:17
Just got there will I am now.
Fuck.
Thankfully, right now I know that this character is a fun favorite.
This is some people, no?
Striker.
No.
Who's a fan favorite character?
53:32
The busty barmaid of the Prancing Barmaid.
She ought to be.
Oh yeah.
But no, this character is some of the people keep saying oh this guy could have quite easily have sorted everything out, put the wing in Mountain Doom himself.
53:48
Gandalf dealt with no Tom Bombardil.
I guess.
I guess he could have figured it all out himself.
Because who is it?
Where's he come from?
Who gives a shit is a crackpot.
54:04
Why is he so powerful and all this sort of shit?
There's a wizard.
All Wizards are powerful, it's just the shittest one of these guys.
He isn't a wizard though.
You've got.
He isn't a wizard.
Right.
So Saramon, is he a grey or a white wizard?
54:20
White.
Gandalf's a grey wizard, becomes a white wizard.
Yeah, I'm not thinking of Tom Bombardil.
I'm thinking of Ragged Ragged Ghast.
Ladder Ghast.
Yeah, he's Brown the shit wizard.
The shit tier of wizard.
The nature wizard, that's what he is.
Was ragged dast even in the films.
54:35
He was in The Hobbit movies.
I thought that was Tom Bombardil.
No.
Oh, Tom Bombardil is that guy who fucking sings all the time.
He never stops fucking singing.
Yeah, I cannot tell you.
Radagast was a wizard though, won't it?
Yeah, I get those two characters confused all the time.
54:53
I don't know.
Well, he's just fucking annoying.
Tom Bombardil Yeah, yeah, there's.
He was in about 3 chapters.
He wouldn't go away.
Played an unlicensed unlicensed by Warner Brothers and nothing to do with the films.
55:09
The the films of the game.
No, the games of the film only had the two Towers in Return of the King.
Remember the action sort of choose your party.
Before that there was a Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring game, which was done by a completely different company and nothing to do with Warner Brothers, nothing to do with the films.
55:25
If you ever played that Lord of the Rings game, it's really, I never played The Hobbit, but it's really good.
It's really weird, but there's a whole Tom Bombardil section.
It's fucking awful.
It's just fucking around the fucking woods singing shut up.
Go where?
At one point?
What's his point?
What's his purpose in the story?
55:41
Every character in a story should serve a purpose, whether it's to get the main character or one of the main character from A to B to help a character have a realization about something.
What is his purpose?
What did JRR Talking create that character to do?
He does two things.
55:57
The actions that Jack's doing here, he's like, he scissored one of the characters.
He rubbed his Tom Bomber Ose he.
Clacked all the throat, all by the ankles, and then he.
Just pulled him in, rubbed his Tom bomber ose all over him.
56:16
It's Tom Bombo, say.
That's much better than what I was saying.
He does two things like he saves the hobbits from a tree.
Yeah.
And then he saves the hobbits from a barrel white.
56:31
From fact, the tree that he saves the hobbits from is the same tree that Harry Potter crashed into from the second Harry Potter.
Absolutely not.
It should set thousands of years after.
Imagine if it just said no, no, it is the same tree and they are the same world.
It's just that the Harry Potter.
56:47
It's just that the Harry Potter world and that tree that Tom Bombardil safe Frodo from and the tree that caught Harry Potter's car, it was set three years apart.
So in three years London was built from from from that event.
57:05
That is fun, but it's not a fart.
Right.
How did you save me from this tree?
Does he sing it to sleep?
Yeah, he sings the right song.
He sings it to sleep.
Old man oak tree or whatever the fuck it's called.
57:25
If you I will say if you if you stick with it and get to the two towers, this is just a fun fact that I will forget.
Because if you ever get to the two Towers, this is just something I know and I think it's funny and I feel like I can't wait for you to get to the two towers because I'll forget this by the time it could be in like a fucking year and I it could be next year by the time you're reading 2 Towers.
57:46
But you know what part you're gonna tell me?
Do you know the ends?
No, it's not fucking Aragon kicking an animal because because he didn't do that in the book, he didn't break it.
Do you know the actual fictional character in the book Broke his toe.
Don't be.
Don't be silly.
Know the ends.
58:02
And all the ants.
When Pippin or Mary or whatever parties with the ants.
Just a really quick is your phone near the microphone?
I keep getting like a right type of thing through.
My bad, it's.
58:17
Not the way about it.
It's on non vibrating right?
You're the ants.
I know the ants.
Right.
Who are the ants?
Tree?
Tree Beard's the main guy, right?
Well, I don't know if he is.
But that's his name.
That's his name.
Tree Beard.
Anyway, is it Mary or Pippen is both of them that are, like, falling about with the Internet?
58:36
Yeah.
So when he seems like, oh, my God, a walking, talking tree.
And then in the books, they're a bit more, hey, we're not trees.
That's fucking racist.
Oh, shit.
Sorry.
You just look a bit like.
No, you do look a bit like Tree.
58:51
No, we're ants.
Trees are completely different.
Oh, so sorry about that.
What's your name?
Tree Beard.
He does not.
He does not get to fucking call someone out.
59:08
I'm saying, you know, whatever.
Being a bit racist.
We're not a tree.
Don't confuse us for trees.
Don't you fucking dirt confuse us for trees?
We're a race of species.
Living, breathing.
We eat, we breathe, we feed.
59:24
We have families.
We have a whole ecosystem.
A tree is a tree.
That is offensive, Sir.
Do not call us that.
Oh, sorry.
What's your name?
Tree Beard.
What a dickhead.
What an absolute dickhead.
Hey, hey, that's our word.
59:42
We can call each other. 3 is awkward, yeah.
I could not wait a year and a half to tell you that fact because I would have forgot it.
It's not really brought up in the films.
I think they just accept that they trees in the films.
59:59
So yeah, he sings.
He sings a tree to death.
So he sings this song, this tree.
Is not an Ant, right?
It's.
Not a tree, it's just an oak tree.
Yeah, don't.
Don't confuse it.
A tree beard.
Yeah, he'll do that.
He sings the songs at this tree, and then he's like, oh, hey, why don't you come to my house for supper and you can sleep over, right?
1:00:16
Right.
It's this way, Tom.
Bondil's like a man, right?
Yeah, whose leg span is the size of a Hobbit, anyway?
Yeah, he's a small guy, right?
I was thinking that this was really stupid when I was listening to it and I thought like Tom Bombardil isn't only annoying, but he's an asshole as well, like.
1:00:36
So he's, you know.
He's like, he's like, he's like running through the form.
It's like, keep up.
He's fucking bombing it, right?
And these hobbits are struggling to keep up with him.
Tom Bombardil makes it to his house, assumingly, in like half an hour.
1:00:53
He's left these hobbies behind in this forest where they have.
They get attacked by trees.
Yeah, They don't know where they're going.
He's like, he's like every annoying omniscient God character in like fiction.
So like you're Batman for example, you know, he can do everything is an annoying fuck.
1:01:12
He creates situations.
He can be annoying.
Cue from Star Trek is a God like character and is annoying as fuck.
You can just do everything, rewrite history.
There's a whole race of species about him like that.
I don't like it, I don't agree with it. in Star Trek, it's stupid.
He all of them could solve everybody's problems.
1:01:30
They're essentially every single member of the Cue collective. in Star Trek they're essentially a bunch of people with Infinity gauntlets.
They can do everything and there's millions of them.
Boring.
Get him out of a But yeah, no, yeah, he seems like that character.
1:01:47
At first I thought it was like Yoda, but Yoda's not a powerful he's a dickhead and he's annoying.
Yeah, he's just an annoying asshole.
Like so he fucks off.
He takes the hobbies, I don't know, a week.
Let's say that it's dinner time ish.
When?
1:02:02
When Tom bomble, brah.
When Tom Bomber.
Tom bomber, brah, he speaks.
A lion and.
No, that's Tom Bomber Clock.
No, that's Jamaican.
Yeah.
Let's just do, let's just do a raster Lord of the Rings trilogy.
1:02:23
Oh, I wish I actually knew raster terms and language, otherwise it'd be funnier.
I could incorporate words I could sound on hinge.
Just fuck, I'm bomber clap.
That's going to exist somewhere.
Someone funnier and more clever than us made that little animated short somewhere.
1:02:42
We will look it up and then steal it and then mention it next week, yeah.
OK, though, but it takes it takes him like what's?
Your name, mate?
Yeah, they call me Tom Bomber Brat or something of a ladder on these parts.
1:02:59
I feel like it'd be Australian.
Just an absolute bogan.
I believe they call.
Yeah, it'll be a fucking bogan.
My God.
Just cause in advocate outside the Centrelink my.
God.
Yeah, so he speeds off.
1:03:15
Home orbits take about a good couple of hours catching up.
Yeah, like 6 or 7 hours to try and get to this guy's eyes, which they don't know where it is.
I haven't.
Got no idea where it is.
But they get there.
They see all the path, like on this hill there's a house and Tom Bumper Clark's just in his doorway just singing down at them.
1:03:38
Oh God, what was up with the fucking talking?
Andy Circus, for three chapters, did not stop singing in this annoying sort of rambling.
Any of the songs good?
No, not at all.
1:03:54
I think, I think about anything that he drive the plot.
Oh, pardon me, It's a big boy, boy.
No, they don't drive the plot at all.
Does it give them any information about the ring like more information like?
1:04:11
I don't think that Tom knew that they had the ring.
Oh yeah, that ring and I could sing it into pieces.
I won't know.
It's the one time I won't sing.
Would you prefer Tom Bombardeau better if he sang?
1:04:27
If he wasn't in it.
Yeah, no, if he sang nothing but pop culture 80s power ballads.
Well then obviously, yeah, I would like him a lot.
More that's The Power of Love, or the much cooler version, The power of Love.
1:04:44
Two 80s songs, both balladi.
I guess one's a lot better because it was in Back to the Future.
You've got the ring, you've got the power.
Meanwhile, he's spreading Frodo's cheek.
1:05:01
He's going by the ankles.
You've got the ring, got the power hard.
Let me taste that ring on your lad.
I feel like he's Irish.
He's gotta be.
He's an annoying little shit, like a Lapaton or a Mischief Pixer.
1:05:20
They're all Irish.
Oh my God.
Anyway, Peter Jackson made an excellent decision by cutting him out to fucking.
Yeah, did not have him in it at all.
I wonder if he's like in a gay relationship with like Radagast LeBron because they're as shitty and annoying as each other.
I don't.
I don't think that Radagast is that annoying.
1:05:37
Covered in bird shit that sounds.
It makes someone annoying though.
Oh.
You talk to a man covered in bird shit and try not to be annoyed.
It'll stink.
It's all bird shit as well.
Well, like, you tell me what bird shit smells like.
I've never smelled bird shit before.
1:05:54
You smell human shit.
Well, obviously I have, yeah.
Or naturally, that's.
Why I've taken shits?
Before, right?
But bird, I don't know.
I imagine if you got it and you know, no one spends time around bird shit.
Do they see they're on the floor or like in the trees?
1:06:12
But if you want to get down on the floor and give it a fucking swift sniff, yeah, it's going to permeate the nostrils, I reckon.
They're always eating dirt and worms.
Yeah.
You telling me when they eat worms there are bits of dirt on them?
1:06:28
They don't.
Choose to eat the dirt, though.
Yeah, it's.
On them.
It's like if I drop a sandwich in sand, I'm still eating it.
I don't choose to eat the sand.
I've got no choice.
Absolutely.
I have to eat the sand if I want the rest of the sandwich.
1:06:43
The sandwich.
Oh, it's a sandwich.
Do you reckon you're gonna do the trilogy?
Yeah, in one go.
Do you reckon?
I think there's gonna, I think I'll do another Witcher maybe before I do anything.
1:06:58
Else you're gonna go from fantasy to fantasy.
Maybe that's what I'm saying.
Oh, I can't.
Why?
Because we have to do shark.
Shark.
Yeah, we're gonna do Shark in the new year.
I've already listened to shark art.
It's fine.
1:07:14
Too late.
You don't have to do it no more. 6 out of 10, anyway.
Six out, get away.
Firstly, it's not a six out of 10 book.
Secondly.
We don't know if it's a he's.
Not played it yet.
I'm just predicting what my score would be.
1:07:30
I reckon it's gonna be, I reckon I'm gonna give it one.
Big out boy of three shark.
Arts Big out, boy.
You know every every fucking successful thing as a poor imitation or over that fucking quote goes.
1:07:48
Pig Art boy was the OG.
Shark art is the, you know, the shitty knockoff.
It doesn't send anything like like.
A man with a pig.
Art we learn.
Man with a shark.
I know what we learn and I know what I chose to ignore.
I know exactly that it's about a man turning into a shark slowly in his life.
1:08:08
Like dealing.
With every I was gonna say to you, we learned after recording the last one.
Speak for yourself, I never learned.
That pig heart boy never even had a fucking pig heart.
No, we did, but it broke or something.
No, it didn't take.
Oh, that breaks my pig heart.
1:08:26
Oh, no, yeah, we didn't work that he no, he had a pig heart, but the operation failed.
But there was like multiple animal hearts.
I think, damn, I'll put a chicken one in and see if that works.
Yeah.
My favorite bit about watching, because it was ATV, it didn't adapt it for ATV drama.
1:08:43
My favorite part about that is when he's in school the next day, he's talking to what I'm guessing used to be his best friend.
And he goes, oh, no, it's still me.
I'm still the same person.
Yeah.
You're not the wire.
You got pig art.
You don't know what's inside you anymore, do you?
Pig art.
Yeah.
1:08:59
Fuck you, lad.
Pig art, boy.
So silly.
Like, it changed it.
Like, imagine not being friends with someone because they've got a fucking animal art in them.
I bet if you had the heart of a lion, he would have made more friends.
Oh.
Fuck that little edition you did of the copies.
1:09:20
I was perfect.
Really.
Genuinely, it makes me believe that you could play a Tiny Tim.
A pig heart.
Yeah, pig heart boy.
That's right.
Well, oh God, I can't think of any Tiny Tim wines.
1:09:37
Fucking yeah.
Well, he says.
This is something I know for definite.
God bless us, everyone.
Yeah, oh God bless us everyone.
Fuck off pig art boy while fucking Bob scratches plowing his.
1:09:55
Scratch it.
Oh fucking no.
Well.
Bob scratches it.
What was his name?
Cratchit.
Bob Cratchit?
Fuck, I'm going off.
The Muppets version it was.
Scratch it and the Muppet version?
No it was.
I'm just trying to cover my tracks with lies that could be immediately found out.
1:10:14
I won't say that is my go to version of like the Scrooge story.
Yeah, because The Muppets do all.
The best they do the movies.
You know they need to redo Muppet films where they're adapting great novels.
Yeah, give me a Tom Sawyer Huckleberry Finn story with The Muppets.
1:10:34
That would be nice I.
Mean.
What about?
Who's going Wait, hang on, which Muppet?
Will we be a Muppet or will we be a human?
Let's call him Jim in, you know, from the Tom Sawyer box.
The IT is the guy who I'm not going to say his first name, I mean.
1:11:00
It could be played by.
Are you trying to think of a fucking?
No, I'm not.
No, I'm trying to.
What pit are you trying?
What pit are you trying?
To think.
They come in all shapes and sizes.
1:11:17
Which Muppet is going to give me the least backlash?
That's what I'm trying to think of.
Big.
Bird.
He's not a muppet though is.
No, Sesame Street people are absolutely Muppets.
They're not part of the Muppet cast.
No, they do.
They crossover.
1:11:32
In the movies.
He said that like, I don't know what film.
It's wrong, but no, it's not.
It's Cliff Richard.
You sounded just like Cliff Richard.
You've seen it in the movies.
Now let's see if it's true.
What song is that?
1:11:48
Summer holiday.
We'll go fuck it out.
The movies.
I think in some of the Sesame Street movies, some of The Muppets do turn up in.
I think Kobe turns up in like Big Bird's Big Adventure.
That sounds to me, that sounds like The Muppets.
1:12:05
I try to give a little bit of star politics.
They're all St. part of the Jim Henderson's creation, so the.
Fraggles.
I know you don't like it, but Fraggles are also Muppets.
Fraggles.
I know that the Fraggles are part of Jim Henson's.
Technically, right?
Right.
1:12:21
This is me going against my own thing.
Technically part of the Henson.
Verse.
Alright, technically, by my own logic, if Fraggle, Sesame Street, and Muppets are all part of the Henson verse, and my reasoning for that is that they're all part of Jim Henderson's creature creations, I should also have to say the Ninja Turtles from the first Ninja Turtle films are also part of the fucking Muppet world.
1:12:44
Yeah, yeah, all of the.
I can't do a Kermit, so this is the best I'm going to do.
Oh, hey, Rafael, what's wrong?
I lost the sigh.
I lost the goddamn fucking sigh.
All right.
1:13:00
Oh, who are you, The great glorious leader?
Oh, I'm.
Oh, geez.
Hey, this is off time.
The cigarette.
God, I bet that blew out the speakers for a bit.
I was overly worried with my shit Raphael impression.
1:13:18
I will see.
I would love to see Raphael just punch Kermit in the face because like Kermit, it's only small, isn't it?
Raphael's like size of a person and he would get angry.
I am because he has just, that's his character is the angry one.
But no, no, it's cool.
1:13:34
But rude.
He's not angry, he's cool, but rude.
If if they Jim Henderson Creature Workshop character which have the texture of felt, they're a Muppet.
What's that?
What's that?
You can't.
1:13:50
You can't.
Add to quote to quote this.
Jim Henson has made it.
It is a Muppet.
And it has.
These are all the goblins in Labour.
No, it has the IT has the skin texture of felt.
So while the goblins aren't part of the Jim Henderson's world, that fucking character not not Dart and use that guy who rides around on that dog.
1:14:12
So his name?
That forgettable character from Labyrinth?
Fucking.
I always forget he's even in Labyrinth.
He's not a loved Labyrinth character.
Boy's name is he's.
He's knighted though, and he he's Sir.
Yeah, he is.
He's Sir Something, but he he, he will exist in the Muppet world because he has the skin texture of felt.
1:14:29
Anyway, to quote The Simpsons, What?
They fucking called the fired something about it, then it was.
Yeah, the annoying things, they're annoying.
Muppets.
Yeah, I guess.
But yeah, to quote The Simpsons, Hey, Dad, what's the Muppet?
Well, boy, not quite a puppet, not quite a Muppet, but boy, you better believe and then just trails off, I think.
1:14:52
I can't remember that exact quote.
I had so much confidence in myself.
What is that fucking quote?
Do you know which one?
I think I do, is it not?
It's it's not quite a puppet, and it's not quite something else.
Is it not?
Not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, Yeah.
1:15:07
Not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but boy, you better I can't remember.
At the end of the quote goes I.
Don't.
Speaking of The Simpsons though, go on.
You know that top ten list that I sent you?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Over like the past day and 1/2 I have watched all 10.
1:15:25
Episodes.
All those episodes.
From from 12:50.
Is actively haunted them ones down, yeah.
Fair enough.
Yeah, I did that in Who Shot Mr. Burns?
Part 2?
Yeah, I thought you may as well kind of watch part one with a with a Part 2.
It's the only I've done if I've done two-part episodes since then.
1:15:43
I tried to try to.
I was rewatching a couple of years ago.
I was rewatching The Simpsons from start to modern.
Honestly I think I dipped out the same time I dipped out when I was a teenager.
1:15:59
I roundabout season 12.
Season 13 I could have stretched it to 1415.
I can't remember but I remember even though the quality was dying off like roundabout from season.
I'd say 2 because season 1 was a bit shit but season 2 to like season 10 or 11 is like peak.
1:16:15
Every episode's fucking cool.
Yeah.
And a lot of people say that's good either.
But then again, I'm like, you know what?
I'm still very fond of some of the episodes that people consider in the shit era.
But then again, that's still very, very, I was still very young at that time.
I was like 1513, you know what I mean?
1:16:31
Like the episode with *NSYNC in it.
Oh, that's fucking great.
They're all like, hey shit, it's *NSYNC.
And then one of the members of *NSYNC, like holy fuck, I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse.
Word.
Great line.
It's one of favorite lines.
1:16:49
Everyone loved the episode.
And then you have the another episode from that era was Lisa was not a vegetarian, but she was obsessed with that tree.
Then the end of the episode there's a tree going down.
This log is your log.
1:17:04
This log is my log.
When like an intro and it's just tree huggers and shit.
Good episode, but not as fondly remembered.
Yeah.
I wonder what young the younger generation.
So like 10 year olds?
13 year olds who love The Simpsons.
They have no nostalgia for the good shit.
1:17:20
Oh yeah, from what I've heard the new series is back on top form.
I don't know and I don't know if I'll ever even watch it.
I just, I just I, I do drop off as soon as the quality starts dropping off, I'm like, I'm not going to watch it anymore and I can't force myself to watch it because I think it's just shit.
1:17:36
What?
What's the fucking on there like 3537?
Must be insane.
Like it's got to be close to ending soon.
I mean it won't.
It will go on forever.
Yeah, it will.
The fact that voice actors and shit are like dying and leaving and they don't they don't want to replace them, so they just retire them.
1:17:53
You know, I think sometimes just replace them if they're a good enough character.
Like I would say I know when fucking what's it called?
The guy who played Troy McClure, he was involved in that massive sort of murdered suicide being scandal.
His wife killed him or something.
1:18:08
God, what was his name?
Phil Hartman.
When he died, they retired Troy McClure.
That character, great fucking character, amazing.
But you know, Phil Hartman was originally going to be Zach Brannigan.
If you trauma that role, Zach Brannigan was written for him, so he was originally going to play it.
1:18:29
But because they'd already made the show, they can't retire that character.
So they had to have Billy West come in and do that voice, do that character and you think about it, he's kind of similar.
You know, you think of Zac Brannigan and Tron McClure.
So it's like you could have just had Billy West replace it.
1:18:46
But I get there's a respect thing there.
But because I know I don't think Edna Crabapple is in it anymore.
I think she died.
So I think she's just not in anymore.
Oh shit.
Weirdly, I think the actress who played Flanders, his wife, is still alive.
1:19:02
Did you grow her off?
Most unlike her I guess.
Yeah, it is weird that they decide to.
Kill kill a character and make it permanent but yet nothing ever ages.
They're up to fucking half 36 seasons.
Yeah, then then top 10 episodes are fucking great.
1:19:17
Oh yeah, they're good.
They're just really good.
One of my favorite thing about classics is the fact that they while they can still tackle serious themes and serious subjects because there is like episodes about Homer being a shitty dad just trying to be the best, make ends meet and shit like that.
1:19:32
Yeah, I mean, in like the very earliest seasons, the show was treated as it was.
An adult sitcom or just an animated sitcom?
Yeah.
But yeah, it still had comedic cartoon elements that you can only do in cartoon, like making cereal with milk and Rice Krispies or whatever.
1:19:47
And it's still sitting on fire.
Funny, unexpected, you know, or the episode where Homer and quite, I wouldn't say, not just for kids as well.
I'd say quite subject matter for the time, but like Homer being accused of being an actual predator or a sex fest.
But in that same episode, it's one of my favorite lines where we get some Pop Rocks, put some on top of a soda can, shakes it up and says, see you in hell, candy boys.
1:20:12
He just throws it.
Runs away from a big explosion, but in that same episode he's been caught out for a pinch in a girl's ass.
The episode is called Homer the Bad.
Homer the bad it is again Speaking of.
That was one of the top 2 was very good episode.
1:20:28
Another good line of Homer being absolute latch.
Not Homer the bad because there he was.
He was framed in some.
He didn't.
He didn't sexually assault a babysitter, but he did get drunk one time and say no, no, get the peanuts from the bottom.
Sorry, good luck, Sorry, good luck.
1:20:46
Down mod.
Stop.
Because he's just, he's playing that all blue collar American dad who's not perfect.
He's Yeah, he definitely went downhill when they tried to make him like, Dumber and Dumber and Dumber and Dumber and Dumber until the point where he's just a fucking idiot.
Yeah.
And it's like I was going to mention.
1:21:03
Have you ever heard of the author?
You must have heard of him.
Chuck Tingle.
Yes, yes.
So he does these like 44 page erotic books, but they have the best long winded titles that are amazing.
1:21:21
Some of them are available and Audible we're like half an hour long.
But I'm honestly, I'm tempted.
So I just picked one at random here.
Yeah, right.
Turned gay by the existential dread that may actually be a character in a Chuck Tingle book.
That's the title of that one.
1:21:39
I'll show you the front cover just to shoot so you can see how long the title is.
You don't get to read it yourself.
OK.
So this one is called Pounded in the Book by my handsome sentient library card, who seems overworld lit, but in reality it's just a normal part of the priceless resources that our library system provides.
1:22:02
That's the book.
And it's like Mark is at a rough time in his new apartment.
The place is small and it's impossible to focus when his neighbor won't stop making subsequently popping bloon animals.
Things are looking bleak, but when it appears there might be a solution to Mark's problem in the form of a magical artifact, he jumps at the chance to find it.
1:22:20
This erotic tale is 4100 words of sizzling humor on gay sentient library card action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and archive knowledge of Love it.
Sounds like I won't be able to put it down.
Our friends don't Chuck Tingle books which are like anti sex books.
1:22:38
Like he's going out of his way to say it's not a sex book.
Anyway, this one's called the Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Gets me off in a fun and sincere way.
Because it's OK for people to enjoy popular things without being shamed for the perceived baseness of their beverage of choices.
And that is a an erotic tale. 4100 was long of sizzling human and sentient fall beverage action and lesbian pumpkin spice love.
1:23:03
Would you not want to read a Chuck tingle?
They're all about 44 pages long.
I mean, it does.
My macaroni and cheese is a lesbian.
Also, she's my lawyer.
The covers are amazing.
1:23:19
That does look good.
You know what sold?
Get it?
This erotic tale 4300 words of sizzling cumin and sentient Mac and cheese action and living lesbian meal love.
Yeah.
After showing our first skills on the first day in the courtroom, Mona the living pasta dish out to celebrate things quickly it turned hot and heavy.
1:23:40
Things turned quickly hot and heavy.
Now the two of them are back in the office, in the throes of lesbian living food action.
There's a whole series about lesbian food.
This one's about the Mothman.
Oh, it's called Mothman did a great job installing my home audio system and now he's eating my ass.
1:23:59
A trans buckaroo tail.
Progressive.
Mothman's Trans And these are real books that you can buy.
You know. 48 pages long.
If I'm going to get any of them, then it's probably going to be the Mothman one because you do love with crypted action.
1:24:16
That's that's what I'm looking.
For this erotic 4000 words is sizzling human on Phantom Mothman Love Audio Repairman action.
It features a trans woman who does not experience any dysmorphia regarding her genitals and a trans man who does.
Honestly topical.
1:24:35
Is this one of the Oh yeah so this one's like an anti sexual book but they still have a long title.
Absolutely no thoughts of pounding during my fun day with this kind T Rex.
Because I'm a romantic and asexual and that's a wonderful, valid way to prove that love is real.
1:24:52
That is 4500 words longer.
Blossoming Teutonic relationship between two buds, including learning about each other, sharing fun dinner with a box of chocolates as an appetizer, and riding on a Ferris wheel at night without a shred of romance.
But one of them just happens to be AAT Rex.
1:25:08
So good.
I generally want to read 1.
I think this is another anti sexual one.
My pool gets me wet in a completely platonic way and nowhere close friends.
There's a picture of a chicken.
A sentient pool actually just completely platonic.
1:25:25
Yeah yeah.
I don't know what's better.
The ones that are so anti sexual.
This no sex tale is four person 300 words longer friendship between a swimmer and a sentient pool that remains platonic because they're just good friends.
Including learning to appreciate your own uniqueness and importance of having fun.
1:25:44
That's 46 pages of wholesome content.
It's a beautiful message if anything.
Oh yeah, 100% Yeah.
Well, this one's not a long tile, it's just called Space Raptor, but invasion.
Space.
Raptor.
Space Raptor.
But invasion.
1:26:01
So yeah, that's only 33 pages.
That's a quick one.
Sizzling human and gay dinosaur action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex and a space Raptor.
It's not gay if it's a man and a dinosaur, is it?
That's what it says.
That's what it says.
1:26:18
It's not gay if it's between a man and a dinosaur.
All the reviews are like 5 stars as well.
Tingled full of holidays.
How's the Vampire Lestat recommended under that for Oh yeah, so some of these titles are oppressed My Butt by my inclusive holiday coffee cups.
1:26:38
Rudolph the Red Nosed Butt Raptor.
Oh, this one.
This one's a must read.
Pounding in the butt by the handsome physical manifestation of holiday shopping.
Pounding in the butt by the physical manifestation of the awkward political dinner discussion over Thanksgiving holiday.
1:26:56
Oh my God.
Pounding in the book by the unexpectedly early arrival of Christmas decorations again.
I'm guessing that's a sentient yeah looking being.
Yeah yeah.
My bizarre obsession with fictional narrative of the War on Christmas pounds my butt.
1:27:16
Pounded by the Hanukkah gelt I won playing dreidel that I thought I'd never eat.
But now I'm seeing a whole new light because it's 2:00 in the morning and I'm hungry.
Yeah.
I just thought I was looking at something last night and I thought I need to tell Jack about them.
That's why I started talking about Lord of the Rings, so I could segue into that.
1:27:34
We went off rails and started talking about The Simpsons.
So me talking about those erotica books seems like a left field and don't make sense now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But Oh well, I bought here me.
I think instead of Shark Heart Boy we should listen to one of the Chris Tingle books instead.
1:27:54
It seems like a tall order for one credits worth of.
You have to spend the credit.
It could be just £0.99 on their own but like short.
Maybe.
When you think of credits like equivalent of 799, always thinking about it I'm.
Interested in the moth model I.
Don't know if that ones even audible.
1:28:11
They're not all inaudible.
Also, I listened to an example of one of the you know, you can listen to an egg exams.
I'm going to make that thing.
It just sounds like Chris.
I'm going to assume it's Chris Tingle himself reading and I'm going to.
1:28:29
He just sounds like he can't be bothered and I think that adds to it because he's very breathy and he's like in between in between or by now adds to the fun of it.
I want to hear him talk about hot gay library card sex or whatever.
And how should I talk about Do you?
1:28:46
Want to?
Do an albatross bit, cut all this bit out and then just say the albatross is coming.
No, we don't have to do an albatross.
We don't do an albatross.
We're leaving that in.
You want.
We want to talk more.
We're not on time here.
We're not.
We're not realistically that, but on time I don't.
1:29:03
Have anything to say I don't want to talk about?
Like a film that would make now I'm exhausted.
What do you want to chat about then?
Oh, welcome to the boring part of the party.
Welcome to the boring part of the podcast where Mike and Jack figure out what to talk about.
Well, I mean, Oh my God, checking out all that.
1:29:24
I came in to talk with Chris Tingle.
I waited long enough, the time I.
Waited an hour and a half to bring up my one subject I brought to the table.
Now I'm done Sir.
That was meant to be me slamming the door, but I don't know how that's going.
1:29:45
To stop Was that Was that four steps?
Yeah, it's just going to sound like the table's being banged.
Yeah, this might sound like a door.
Your mouse door.
I don't know what's this bit going to be?
You know, we've not mentioned what's this podcast?
1:30:01
What's that?
Where where we are not even said welcome to the key bar.
Did did you?
Yeah, yeah.
I just weren't paying attention because.
Your mind was filled with Mr. Tingle.
Obviously it always is.
It has been for the past two days.
Oh shit, what's that noise?
1:30:20
Car, car.
Is that an albatross?
Yeah, I guess it.
Is shit.
The albatross is coming to the Tucker's end.
Fuck.
And we had so much more to talk about.
1:30:37
Just dig your side off.
I'm Mike and don't get spiked when you go out drinking tonight, put your hand on the top of the cup sometimes.
Take it with you.
Make sure there's a friend looking after you.
Drink.
See you next week.
You can't shorten that at all.
That's my go to sign.
1:30:54
That's what they know.
That's what they that's what they expect.
Hi, you've been this is trapped in the cube and I'm Mike.
And be careful with the drinks.
Make sure you're going out tonight.
You have a friend watching over too?
Long.
It's 1 long actually.
1:31:10
I just think we should just keep talking.
Just play the audio, cut it off and towards the end of this episode edit it.
So you just turn the volume down and then we're still talking and then the audience like it's like an old 80s ballad to be struggling to finish this one.
I.
1:31:26
Know this is weird.
I might.
Goodnight.
My God, I've been getting tucked in.
Usually you just end it.
I've been jacking this has been trapped in the cube.
I'm Mike and I've been slowly going inside.
1:31:44
Oh shit, I think I've just found my sign off.
Let's.
Try that again.
I've been jacking this has been trapped in the queue.
I'm Mike and I'm slowly going insane.
Thank you for listening.
1:32:01
Just want to keep talking, don't you?
A little bit.
Stop it.
Turn into a fucking bottler.
