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Episodes > Episode twelve transcript

Episode twelve:
Bad Book Club part one: America has Carcharodon Carcharias

Use the chapter headings and panels to navigate through the contents of the transcript.

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Contents
  • A blustery day in the cube (0:03)
  • The will of the Whills (09:17)
  • Bukka Bobbuh Fheh (17:37)
  • Bent Necks and Bad Books (21:02)
  • Shark Heart first impressions (28:33)
  • Initial gripes (35:38)
  • Thinly veiled racism and bad nomenclature (39:50)
  • Get learnt about sharks (45:37)
  • Vampirism in fanfics (49:16)
  • Pregnant with twin birds (51:02)
  • Would you go through a forced gradual animorphism? (55:04)
  • A REALLY good bit, might be Mikes favourite so far actually (59:07)
  • Chocolate banana muffins (01:06:29)
  • Not-so-current affairs (not a political podcast) (01:08:08)
A blustery day in the cube

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0:03 Speaker 1 Did you get blown about the other day? 0:05 Speaker 2 Not too bad to before I. 0:07 Speaker 1 No, it was, I was just super windy. I was off, thank God. But oh, it was Highland up a storm all the way from like 3:00 AM to like 1:00. Insane. 0:18 Speaker 2 What day was that was That was. Was it Thursday? Wednesday, that was. 0:21 Speaker 1 Yesterday. Wasn't it literally yesterday? Friday? 0:24 Speaker 2 Weren't weren't too bad at all thing. 0:25 Speaker 1 Or maybe it was Thursday? No, because I was off work so. 0:29 Speaker 2 Saying that because I was on nights last week, I didn't really go out until I had to leave for work anyway you. 0:34 Speaker 1 Might have just slept through it. 0:36 Speaker 2 Maybe. 0:38 Speaker 1 Fair enough. 0:40 Speaker 2 Maybe because, yeah, like the weather during the night wasn't bad at all, I didn't think. 0:45 Speaker 1 I thought it was. 0:46 Speaker 2 Not particularly windy, just. 0:48 Speaker 1 All it was that but but worse saying that British people complain about winds nothing when, you know, parts of the world get devastated by hurricanes. Yeah, a couple of roofs and a couple of bins blew over, but you know. 1:03 Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, it was yesterday when I was when I left the house to go to work. It took me a little while to find my bin because I very farted block. 1:15 Speaker 1 Say it was windy. You've been a gun adventure. 1:19 Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. And when I phoned in, it was capsized. It was just, it was on its ass. It was just, it was like it was like 150 yards down the street just on his side. And someone else had put something in my bin. 1:37 Speaker 1 Recently not lettering. 1:39 Speaker 2 I guess so, but something they could have picked the bin up first at least I suppose but. 1:44 Speaker 1 I'm sorry I just accidentally come up with a shitter version of Is it Frodo's story that was called There and Back Again? 1:51 Speaker 2 No Bilbo's. 1:52 Speaker 1 That was Frodo's, well, whatever, because he went there and back again. The Bilbo's there and back again, Yeah. Been and gone. Been and gone. He's been and he's gone. 2:04 Speaker 2 Yeah, sounds good. Yeah. 2:08 Speaker 1 Imagine you do all the Lord of the Rings book and ends with ends with that. So what? So what have you called it Bilbo been and gone? You didn't even say it, though. You just like the the camera zooms out of the book and as like the book closes slowly. It just has been and gone in that fancy like Lord of the rings font. 2:27 The feds are exactly the same as like that's weird. You know, like we recently discovered Lord of the Rings was meant to be discovered tome like a phone text, like it was like the Bible or something that someone scholars stumbled on translated and made it into English. 2:46 They should have took that same energy into the films, right? Made it like a blur witch shit. Look at this old footage that we found of like actual magic and shit. But because it was, you're doing it a found way with no translations because you found it and it's a film, you'd have to use all the original names. 3:13 So I like Frodo be called like fucking Froglet bag of dolls or whatever it's fucking called. Yeah. I don't know any of the actual real names of the characters, but yeah. 3:27 Speaker 2 I also can't remember because I thought it was so silly that I didn't bother. 3:31 Speaker 1 Remembering. 3:32 Speaker 2 Making anything too much. 3:33 Speaker 1 Why would you? They're all like footnotes at the back of a book anyway. Yeah. Oh, but I. 3:38 Speaker 2 Think the third book is. 3:40 Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, by the way, by the way, guys, those characters that you fell in love with and been reading about, this is what they're actually called. Why? Why? Fucking honestly, sometimes creators who create amazing pieces of work that stand the test of time that are universally loved are their own worst enemy. 4:03 Yeah, and they're absolute dickheads. Like the majority of people love Lord of the Rings, but JKR talking? That's the mirror version of him, and he wrote Harry Potter and he's a transphobe. 4:20 Jr. talking whatever kept adding to his books. You know what, actually, maybe they were actually called this. You know what? Actually, maybe, you know, it's the same thing. That fucking thing he does with the Star Wars films. Why stop going back and changing it? Just leave it as is. 4:36 And everyone's like, oh, Josh Lucas should come back. No, because those prequel films were shite. And I think everybody universally forgets that. And it was like, bring George Lucas back, he knows what they do. And Disney ruined it. The Star Wars films haven't been good for a long time. 4:51 And it's got nothing to do with Disney. It's just to do with the writers and shit. Episode 1, boring piece of shit, nobody wants anything to do with it. Episode 2, even worse. What shit is shit boring? 5:06 Episode 3 passable and that's it. It's just passable, nothing more I can say on that. Cool fights in at the end. Bit long but cool. Jewel of the Fates with Darth Maul was better but I'm not fighting was too short. Yeah and they killed qui gun like a fucking chump. 5:23 Qui guns like the goat. Really love qui gun. 5:26 Speaker 2 I genuinely agree with you for the most part in where the fight scenes are concerned. Yeah. Because, yeah, the whole Anakin versus all we want, it was it was long. It was long. It was very action part. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, there was no pause in those. 5:42 It was just one thing after the very good, I thought. 5:45 Speaker 1 Yeah, also it's. 5:46 Speaker 2 Not one star. Small. Way too fucking short. Yeah, yeah. 5:50 Speaker 1 There's no redeeming qualities of the second one, I don't think. Oh, Padme's midriff. Yeah, little little 13 year old Michael really appreciated that. 6:03 Speaker 2 I've seen that movie once, just just the ones. And it was, I don't know, call it 20 years ago, maybe 25 years ago at this point. 6:12 Speaker 1 I tried, I don't. 6:13 Speaker 2 Remember hardly anything about. 6:14 Speaker 1 It I tried watching all the films in order. Episode order episode 1 and two. Took me about 3 weeks to watch. I kept falling asleep and I just wasn't engaged. And I thought after reading, so I read Plagues, which is set before and during the events of Episode 1, and that was like, oh, they were talking about stuff that's setting up Episode one in a cool way, you know what I mean? 6:38 Like even when they mention like, oh, so this is what Palpatine was doing when he was setting up the trade negotiations, and This is why he was doing this, and This is why I was doing that. Everything's falling into place. Maybe if I watch Episode 1 now, I'd appreciate a bit more. Now I have more context behind it because of this extra thing that has been written to make it good. 6:57 Like the whole Clone Wars TV series that came out made the prequel trilogy OK, you know, because we got way more contacts and it's like, you know what? The Clone Wars, which like were ran for like 8 seasons, it did feel like a Clone War, not a clone hour and a half, you know? 7:15 Yeah, yeah. After I read Plagues and then I went into Episode 1, I was like, no, can't do it. I immediately, immediately I was like, get this shit off. No. 7:29 Speaker 2 I'll tell you what my get. 7:30 Speaker 1 These racist stereotypes off my TV I'll. 7:34 Speaker 2 Tell you what my main problem with episode 1 is like politics, no. 7:40 Speaker 1 I think politics and stars just really can't be good about. 7:43 Speaker 2 Half of the movie it's just let's watch F1. 7:48 Speaker 1 Yeah. 7:50 Speaker 2 And that's it, and F1 is born as fuck. 7:52 Speaker 1 It is born as fuck, that's why they had people shooting. 7:55 Speaker 2 And watch a fucking race for 40 minutes. 7:58 Speaker 1 It is. It is about 1/3 of the film. That pod racing sequence shite Insane. I will. I will say Testament at the time because when it kicked 1999, I think it came out, special effects were actually top notch for the time. 8:12 Speaker 2 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 8:13 Speaker 1 But like Jaja, worst character ever made, but the first fully sees your character with human people, interacted with them and it looks. 8:20 Speaker 2 Passable. 8:22 Speaker 1 Well done, very good, well done to the team and all involved. Just a shit character. Annoying fucking guy that no one gives a shit about it. Cruel. Andy Serkis did it better with Gollum. 8:33 Speaker 3 You should. 8:34 Speaker 1 Replace all of Jaja Binks with Gollum and it's a better film. Same dialogue as well. Just have Golems model in there. Yeah but just swap him out so he's all wanky and weird. So it's a straight model swap. 8:50 Speaker 2 Just we skinned the judge. Yeah, that. 8:54 Speaker 1 Look weird it fall more into the thing about oh maybe he's a secret Sith ward or something. 9:01 Speaker 2 Yeah, which I think is stupid. 9:03 Speaker 1 I just found FEAR. He's been stupid. But apparently that's something that George Lucas was thinking of doing further on the line because he's dumb and people say, Oh no, his prequel show, his prequel trilogy would have been so much better than what Disney like cooked up. He was going to do a full film about the middle Chlorians.

The will of the Whills 9:21 It was going to call the Will of the Wills or something like that. And it wasn't going to really be a Star Wars film. It was going to be set in a micro universe, so you know, like the middle Chlorians are like the things that control all life and shit and whatnot. It's going to be about them and how they go about getting their energy and shit. 9:40 So essentially it was going to be a films for for all intents and purposes, set in the quantum realm, but with microscopic characters. So essentially, and then like an entire film would have been like, I don't know. And then you zoom out of that film and it's just everyone doing a fast that's the and then the whole thing is that how about they go about achieving this false push for this guy who's controlling or something? 10:04 And I'm like, you're telling me that was going to be like, good. 10:08 Speaker 2 For that, for that segment to last longer than two minutes, yeah, it's overkill. 10:15 Speaker 1 Yeah, time works on a microscopic level. 10:18 Speaker 2 For that to be a full feature like movie so each of each one of these medical. 10:25 Speaker 1 Assumedly they have characters and stuff. They have characters which is insane. 10:29 Speaker 2 Yeah. So each each one of these, which is virtually an infinite amount, they're essentially they. 10:36 Speaker 1 They're essentially selfless. 10:37 Speaker 2 Everything are inside everything. 10:39 Speaker 1 That's all right. Does it binds us. It penetrates us. Yeah. The Living Force. 10:46 Speaker 2 So what? Do they have jobs? Do they? Yeah. 10:49 Speaker 1 Do they go to school the force users? 10:52 Speaker 2 Stupid idea. 10:54 Speaker 1 Which is right, And then it's a good job it never happened and never came to fruition because then every single time a Jedi uses a power or a mind trick, I'm going to be thinking what characters are happening, what microscopic things are going on On a microscopic level, I. 11:08 Speaker 2 Fucking hate that over there. 11:10 Speaker 1 Yeah, which is what I said. Like creators are their own worst enemy because they go to some weird fucking places. Like, I didn't mind Force Awakens. I thought it was OK. It was a little bit, and it's a bit fan service. Remember the old films? I didn't mind that. 11:25 Speaker 2 I did mind it because because it relied on that and nothing else. 11:29 Speaker 1 Yeah, I did rely on a lot on nostalgia. 11:31 Speaker 2 Any sort of original storyline. 11:34 Speaker 1 I do think they could have done something more with it, but for me I was like, you know what? It feels homely. I don't mind it. The second one that came out, Rash Jedi, is that what it was called? I can't remember. Yeah, last year I was all like, I liked it, but I felt indifferent about it. 11:51 I liked it, but it was like, think about it. I won't for a bit. But because they did the whole weird thing with Luke and whatnot, and when it was a bit Jade, I'm like, yeah, it's fine. It's cool seeing him and stuff like that. I would have done things differently, but I didn't mind it so much. 12:06 And then the last one that came out shape Rise of Skywalker because they did that whole bullshit Goonies plot thing that made no fucking sense. If you remember, she found like an ancient Sith dagger. But do you remember in the Goonies when he when they hold up the doubloon and it lines up with the rock and the thing? 12:26 Well, they do that in Star Wars, but with an ancient Sith dagger on a planet. But it's the planet that the Death Star crashed landed onto, right? Death Stars in the ocean Ray's holding up this dagger which has the hill has like weird curves and shapes to it. 12:42 And then she finds the secret holocron whatever in this location because the dagger's lining up with this crash. Death Star. How is an ancient Sith dagger lined up with a very a crash that happened about 30-40 years ago in her timeline. 12:59 Also, this Sith dagger is so ancient they had to like reset C3PO to read it. So it's ancient and to find a holocron that was struck inside a Death Star that was built before this dagger was made. Bullshit. 13:13 Speaker 2 A MIDI Chlorian told him. 13:15 Speaker 1 Yeah, why not? 13:19 Speaker 2 It was him. It was John MIDI Chlorian. Oh. 13:23 Speaker 1 My God, it's him. 13:26 Speaker 2 Yeah, I had the same sort of time with the latest Troja that you did with episode 1-2 and three. Yeah, how you can't fall asleep. I I it took me a good few watches to get through them because I just thought they were fucking boring as. 13:42 Speaker 1 Fuck yeah. Yeah, I made it look all right, you know. 13:45 Speaker 2 Yeah, but that's no substitute for storyline or acting capability or anything else. 13:51 Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. Sorry about say, about Jar, Jar Binks. Yeah, looks all right, Director. But, yeah, there's a couple of things I don't like. I think when Ray tapped into the dark side for a brief moment, electrocuted a ship which had Chewbacca in it, but it didn't because he was actually in the ship that was just behind that ship, which we found out later on, probably should have just killed him. 14:14 I think it would have had more emotional weight. She would have felt more guilty about it. She might have even turned evil. That would have been cool. But no, can't kill off Chewbacca, apparently, because we're saving him for something. Hey, let's tease Billy Dee Williams as a kid because something, you know. 14:29 But oh, now I say, like TV wise, they're doing some great things. Mando, I really like all three seasons. Andor is probably one of the best Star Wars TV shows I've ever fucking seen. Might be the best Star Wars contact I've ever fucking seen. It's like, did you ever watch Andor? 14:44 Speaker 2 No, I didn't. 14:45 Speaker 1 It's a prequel to Rogue One. Rogue One's a really good film. 14:50 Speaker 2 Can I say though, Yeah, I think at all it's a it's a planet, isn't it? 14:55 Speaker 1 Well, Andor, yeah, No, no, you're thinking of Endor. Andor is the name of a character, Cassie. And Andor, that's his former. 15:02 Speaker 2 All. 15:03 Speaker 1 The stuff. 15:04 Speaker 2 I really have a problem with that name. 15:06 Speaker 1 Why? 15:07 Speaker 2 Andor yeah, shite. 15:09 Speaker 1 Now what I. 15:10 Speaker 2 Call him literally anything else, Jacobson. 15:13 Speaker 1 It's not, it's. 15:14 Speaker 2 A better name it's. 15:15 Speaker 1 Not spelled. 15:16 Speaker 2 Yeah, it is. Yes, it is. I am certain it is. Yeah, yeah, Andor. 15:23 Speaker 1 Maybe it is, yeah. 15:28 Speaker 2 Yeah, never seen it. 15:30 Speaker 1 Because of the name. 15:31 Speaker 2 Not strictly because of the name, but that certainly helped me to never want to watch it did. 15:35 Speaker 1 You ever watch rogue one? No you didn't. The characters in Rogue One. This is obviously a prequel to Rogue One. Honestly the best Star Wars content ever. There's it. It's like 3 mini movies, so each there's three story acts in it and each they're only about half an hour each. 15:50 So but yeah, there'll be 3 episodes and that'll be 1 arc. Another three episodes will be another arc, another episode will be another arc and that's it I will say. But like visually it looks really good. It's obviously about about the uprising of the rebellion and shit like that. 16:07 Honestly, really fucking good. I would watch it get past the main. The main character is not even the best thing about it because nobody likes Andorra anyway. He's a bit of a Dick, but yeah, it's really cool thing is in it as well. One of these scars guards, not the handsome ones, the old man one. It's really, really cool. 16:25 But yeah, no, it's really good. I'm looking forward to season 2 is. 16:28 Speaker 2 His name actually. 16:30 Speaker 1 One of the scars guards, that's the old Stellan scars guards, and he's really good in it. He gives a, he's really good character. He plays like Lutheran or something. No, I really like and I really like Mandalorian. I didn't mind a soaker, but to really appreciate a soaker, I can't imagine you'd like a soaker if you'd not seen all of the Clone Wars and Rebels because it banks on your knowledge of that. 16:51 Speaker 2 Hello. Which is something else that pulls me off of the Star Wars and the understandable, understandable. It expects you to do homework, to enjoy something. 17:01 Speaker 1 I will say only a soaker's one for that and maybe season 2 and 3 of Mando. If you, if you if you want to know, I think if you want to know the real history of the Dark Sabre, you should have watched all the Plum Wars and the Rebels. 17:14 Speaker 2 If I'm being totally honest here, I think that if you just watch Mandalorian, yeah, then you watch a soaker, you'll be perfectly fine. 17:21 Speaker 1 You'll be really lost with a Soaker special, and it's bringing Ezra Bridger. You know, fucks this weird guy. Why is he saying his name's Jabba the Hawk? That's not Jabba the Hawk but that's a running joke from rebels.
Bukka Bobbuh Fheh 17:38 Obi Wan Kenobi was absolutely dog shy, did not like it. You think I would because you know Obi Wan cool you McGregor's back, Aiden Christians back did some dumb ass fucking moments and some shit episodes in that. There is some, there is a few cool moments in it, but most of it's shite. 17:55 And same with Booker Boba Fett. Shite rubbish. Booker Boba Fett had three, Booker Boba Fett had three good episodes and that's because Boba Fett wasn't in them. And it was what happened between season 2 and 3 of Mando and it was just a Mando adventure. And there was an episode with Grogu training with Luke and that was cool. 18:13 I'm like, yeah, that's pretty sick. 18:15 Speaker 2 Yeah, that, that does seem good. 18:16 Speaker 1 Yeah, Grogu training with Luke on ATV show, That's fucking cool. It was in Booker Boba Fett. You had to watch that just to get to some good content. 18:27 Speaker 2 I might just watch those those episodes enough. 18:30 Speaker 1 Yeah, watch those Mandalorian 2.5 episodes. 18:32 Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Because I don't know, I, I haven't had any sort of interest in Booker Boba Fett at all. 18:39 Speaker 1 No, they, they kind of like, I would say a lot of people said they've ruined his character. They've ruined his character. I'm like, what do you mean they ruined his character? He had like one line in the trilogy and then everything else and everything else is purposely fan based built up bullshit of you from the fucking 80s going God that guy's fucking cool and mysterious. 19:03 Let's write a bunch of comics and books about him and make him seem cooler and more mysterious. God he's so fucking cool. And then you can't see ruin the character when in the films, which is like the only thing that we're counting to the point anywhere. Oh yeah, he had three lines. And then you say ruined his character. 19:20 And to be fair, he had shit motivations and you didn't really understand them in Book of Boba Fett. They could have been more fleshed out, but Nah, it was just. But yeah, people say they ruined his character's bullshit because it's like, what character was there to be ruined? You know, it's just your expectations that were never set in stone, which is fine. 19:40 But you know, you build up your own expectations and that's one of the risks that you run. You know, it's your own thoughts, like people waiting for a game for years. They'll build up their expectations and be sure. I'm like, why? We saw a three second teaser trailer and then you let your mind run wild. Like the same thing happened with Multiverse of Madness. 19:59 Probably because of their name. They were expecting a multiverse of madness. Yeah, to be fair. But when in fact, they were all like, there was like another universe that they went to for, for for a hot minute. And then there was a scene when they. 20:14 Fell through about four different ones. Cool. We had the trailers were essentially all the fan made trailers. Everyone going, oh, Deadpool's going to be in this, fucking Kang's going to turn up somewhere. Spider Man's going to be in it. Everyone's going to be in it. 20:30 It's going to be so cool. They're going to have Tom Cruise's Iron Man, which is something that people really excited for. Like why? Because he was originally made him play Iron Man. If he turned it down because it's a Dick because it was enough money for him and he prefers running to flying.
Bent Necks and Bad Books 20:49 Speaker 2 Yeah, but anyway, welcome to an Earth sword of Captain Cube. I am Jack. 21:06 Speaker 1 I am not. I'm Mike. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you are. 21:14 Speaker 2 Absolutely. 21:15 Speaker 1 You are actually all right. He looks dead. 21:18 Speaker 2 Took his fucking time getting configured and making a shit load of noise. Now he's finally fucking resting. 21:24 Speaker 1 Took himself out. It'd be nice if the mirror that he was facing was a little bit where we could, where we could see his face and it looked like he was just posing and looking at himself, pretending that he had a lover in bed next to him. 21:39 Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, I'll pick him out to bed next. 21:48 Speaker 1 Even if I had the intention of like, having a full mirror in bed with me and I woke up in the middle of the night, I'd definitely forget it was there. I would shit myself. I've shit myself if I wake just just this morning. No, this morning when I got in from work, I came upstairs. 22:07 You did walk upstairs? No, I walked upstairs. I was in the bathroom and then the way the coat was positioned on the landing and then the way that there's just a pile of mess and clothes on the landing as well. Cos end of the day, everything goes off at the top of the landing. 22:23 Whatever, get ready to have a quick shower come out. But I genuinely thought for a fraction of a second it made me jump. But it did like go a little bit. I generally thought there's a very tall man at the top of my stairs. Horrifying. 22:40 Disgusting. So yeah, no, I don't think I could sleep with a mirror in bed next to me, propped up in a way where I'd see a reflection facing back. 22:49 Speaker 2 Oh my Lord, Tall Man was watching. 22:53 Speaker 1 Yeah, with like a really long bent neck or or did not like that at all. 22:58 Speaker 2 Yeah, that's fucking great. I. 23:01 Speaker 1 Was going to say, Speaking of craters and shit like that, are you still plodding along with Lord of the Rings? 23:09 Speaker 2 I've not actually been back to it since I I took a little break from any sort of literature. 23:15 Speaker 1 Oh yeah. 23:16 Speaker 2 Over. 23:18 Speaker 1 The new year. 23:19 Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. 23:21 Speaker 1 Saving them credits. 23:22 Speaker 2 It's it's mostly because I I really, really listen while I'm walking to work. Do you know what I mean? And because also it worked for a while, I just sort of drifted away from me and started listening to more music, I suppose. Fair enough. Yeah, I've got, I think about like followers. 23:39 So I'm not I'm not really that foul finishing anyway, but it just I just have to get back into it. I did start shark out though. 23:47 Speaker 1 How far? How far in shark I reckon you are? When did you start? 23:52 Speaker 2 It maybe I think I'm. 23:54 Speaker 1 An hour and a half in. 23:55 Speaker 2 Yeah, let me let me have a little see if we can. 23:57 Speaker 1 Did you start today for homework? 24:00 Speaker 2 No, I started it on. It was Wednesday. 24:04 Speaker 1 I don't know what day it was. Whose day? Wednesday. What day? Yeah. 24:08 Speaker 2 Yeah. So I started on. I've got I've got six hours left of this 8 hour book, so I'm about two hours in. 24:16 Speaker 1 Yeah, I've got, I think I've just got 4 hours left now. I think it's going to I, I will say this from you, you only being an hour and a bit in now, I think it's moving around at like a rapid pace. Yes, yeah. What? What level of shark is he at? 24:33 Speaker 2 He's just gone to that, that sort of group therapy place. Ohh yeah. So he has he has his rough skin and he's dry feet and he's fucking. 24:45 Speaker 1 This is why his wife knows then, yeah. 24:47 Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 24:48 Speaker 1 Should we we should actually tell people? I don't know if we've mentioned shark cart on the cast before, but we should tell people what it's about. 24:55 Speaker 2 South Shark Cart, It's about it's about these two. 25:01 Speaker 1 Newlyweds. 25:02 Speaker 2 Dual archetypes. 25:05 Speaker 1 Straighten No, Don't be straightened with a critic. 25:07 Speaker 2 Sorry, yeah. 25:09 Speaker 1 We'll criticise it so after the synopsis. OK, but he's right. 25:15 Speaker 2 OK, so Shark is about, it's about this married couple. They've almost been married a year, aren't they? Right one of them, Taylor Lewis. Lewis. 25:26 Speaker 1 Sorry, I've got I've got Planet of the Apes stuck in my head. You said the story's about a man turning into a shark. I immediately went apes. 25:37 Speaker 2 Thank God. 25:38 Speaker 1 Because Taylor was the astronaut from the original Planet of the Apes. 25:43 Speaker 2 So Lewis. 25:46 Speaker 1 And Ren, his wife, like the bird. 25:49 Speaker 2 Just like the. 25:50 Speaker 1 Bird, as they keep telling me. Yeah. And that didn't stop. You're only an hour and a bit in every time someone asks her, right? Yeah. 25:56 Speaker 2 I've heard it three times myself so far. 25:58 Speaker 1 Get ready for a lot more. 25:59 Speaker 2 I can't wait. This. This is gonna be like waiting for Andy Serkis to stop singing. 26:07 Speaker 1 Honestly, it's insufferable. 26:10 Speaker 2 Well, we're not supposed to criticize it yet. 26:11 Speaker 1 All right, synopsis. 26:13 Speaker 2 A bit. Wait a bit. 26:13 Speaker 1 Synopsis. 26:15 Speaker 2 So Lewis, who's married to Ren, like the bird, has a gene mutation, which is. 26:24 Speaker 1 I'm not gonna remember what it's called, but. 26:25 Speaker 2 I'm I'm also not because it's Latin and I it doesn't stick in my head. Yeah, essentially over the next nine months, something like that. And he's gradually turning into a great white shark. 26:40 Speaker 1 Specifically great white shark. Yeah. Because that's the specific mutation that he's turning. Yeah, Yeah. And it's about how they're surviving through marriage and how she lives with it, how she's going to put with it the trials and tribulations of your husband turning into a fucking shark. 26:58 And apparently it was. It was sold to me and Jack because it was quite emotional and heartbreaking. 27:04 Speaker 2 Yeah, I saw TikTok, which I sent to Mike, and it was this guy who bought this book as a joke, started reading it and then he kept doing like a call every. Like, I would have been reading and being more and more emotional and him being like really like, it genuinely struck a chord in this and this. 27:27 Speaker 1 Is so funny because. 27:28 Speaker 2 He was in tears telling us about it next. 27:30 Speaker 1 Week. We'll probably both finish the book by next week and we'll just be bawling our eyes and being like holy shit how wrong were we? 27:41 Speaker 2 My God. 27:41 Speaker 1 But yeah, yeah, that's essentially the plot. Yeah, yeah. 27:46 Speaker 2 Each chapter is about a paragraph and 1/2. 27:49 Speaker 1 I'm like, I listen to when I last week I already started listening to it. I was about exactly where you are now. I started listening to it last week and I said to Jack, he was a bit upset. I'm on chapter. I was on chapter. 28:05 What was it, 5270 something? And then he was like, what I'm always listening to for about 20 minutes, mate, 20 minutes. 28:14 Speaker 2 I was this heartbroke, learning that I could started it without me as this guy. He was telling me about it. You read it. 28:23 Speaker 1 I thought you might have already got a jump start on it or you had already. For some reason I had in my head that you already started and you were just waiting for me for listen to it anyway. So I don't know why I don't claim to be the most a list, not a literate.
Shark Heart first impressions 28:39 I don't claim to be the most like media literacy accurate, whatever person like I'm pretty sure it's not lost in anybody who's reading the book or listening to the book that replace the fact that a man's turning into a shark is someone going through some harrowing disease in the real world. 28:56 Could be cancer, could be whatever. And then the wife was there. But why would anyone pick up that that story's been done a million times. Let's shoot it up a bit. What if cancer, but they turn into a fucking shark, you know? And I guess it worked because we wouldn't read a book about a man going through cancer and then his wife dealing with it. 29:20 But also as a playwright, failed actor. Yeah, yeah. 29:23 Speaker 2 He's he's no a high school drama teacher in it. 29:27 Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, he's because. 29:29 Speaker 2 He keeps coming up with all these ideas for scripts that he's never going to fucking write, and all of them are the most stupidest or mundane. Just bollocks fucking. 29:39 Speaker 1 It's like. 29:41 Speaker 2 Storylines. 29:42 Speaker 1 He is Lewis. Yeah, Lewis is such a pretentious writer. It's insufferable sometimes. It's like he's got these ideas that are so grand and big by my they're fucking dumb. And I don't know if they're meant to be dumb and he's meant to be, like, come across as a pretentious prick or the actual author of the book is also overly pretentious and they think they that these playwrights are good ideas. 30:09 I mean, his wife does say that's a bit shit, that idea. I think you're about the inbreds play that you tried to write. Yeah. Yeah. Later on down the line, he doesn't admit that that was a stupid idea. 30:20 Speaker 2 Just gloss over that for the fuck. 30:24 Speaker 1 No context needed that that that pretentious inbred book, that inbred story that he tried to write. You can tell him about the inbred story if you want. No, no. 30:38 Speaker 2 Listen. 30:39 Speaker 1 People are going to be like a pretentious inbred star there I'm. 30:43 Speaker 2 Intrigued. It could have been way better. 30:47 Speaker 1 Also, wait no, also I'm saying I'm saying the title of the name. Wrong Embrace. 30:53 Speaker 2 Yeah, there's an inflation because there's a question mark of the. 30:55 Speaker 1 Embrace. 30:56 Speaker 2 Inbreds. So, right, so the bit that I'm up to now, he's, he's decided on and just started writing a play about him about, about, about his experience, right. 31:16 Speaker 1 Right. I I didn't get that. Like, maybe I like zoned out for a bit, but the book does this thing, the audio book anyway does this thing. Were things caught and then it's a player all of a sudden. Yeah, I am like, this is weird. Like it's not going to be a player that he's apparently going to write about his life. 31:34 And that's what we're seeing because some scenes are acted out, acted out. Some scenes are like, oh, and it's like this is the play right now, the stage directions, each character's name said before they're talking, which is super confusing and also. 31:49 Speaker 2 It isn't confusing, it's fucking annoying. 31:51 Speaker 1 And then the the person given the stage directions and it is a person, not an AI. 31:56 Speaker 2 Voice, I do not believe you. 31:58 Speaker 1 Because I have to check but. 31:59 Speaker 2 How? How does anyone sound like that? 32:02 Speaker 1 I have to check the cast list and there's three people in the story, 3 narrators it's listed as. There's obviously narrator for Wren's chapters, narrator for Lewis's chapters, and then narrator for the stage directions. And she sounds so robot. 32:18 Do you know when this podcast fucks up? And sometimes, and the listeners might have caught it on some episodes when we've like, not caught it in time, we slip into a robotronic style of voice. But it's the most AI sounding voice. She sounds like an Alexa. 32:34 Speaker 2 No, no she doesn't. She says like Microsoft Sam. That's what she says like. 32:40 Speaker 1 Scene 1 Lewis is in the bathtub. Why sounding like that? The. 32:50 Speaker 2 First time, though, that he did that sort of script bit, yeah, was between Lewis and Wren, yeah. 32:55 Speaker 1 Right, Lewis? 32:56 Speaker 2 So no Wren. So the voice actor for Lewis kept saying Lewis before his line. Yeah. And the voice actress for Wren kept saying Wren before her line. So that's like me and you having a conversation going Jack. So what do you think about Shark Heart? 33:12 Speaker 1 Mike insists upon itself Jack. 33:20 Speaker 2 Annoying as fuck. 33:21 Speaker 1 It really is. I I guess that's one of those things where it is better written down. But if you right, it is my gripe with the audio version of it. If you're going to do it that way, that's all, it's fine, but you wouldn't notice by now. Ren has her own chapters, and when it's a Ren chapter, there's a female doing the narration for everything, and when it's Lewis's chapter, there's a male doing the narration for everything. 33:45 The male voice actor does a better job at doing the female character, right? So whoever's doing Lewis's part reads Ren's part and it sounds OK. It's possible. But the female voice actor who's doing Ren's part when she has to put on Lewis's voice and she talks? 34:03 Speaker 2 Like this? Yeah. 34:07 Speaker 1 Yeah, if you're going to have, if you're going to do the audiobook this way, which some audiobooks do it where they have characters for certain things because essentially there's only two people in the book anywhere. Yeah, there's a couple of other characters that come in there and they just have her do all the one lines and he do all the men's lines. Why they swap in, like why is he sometimes reading her lines and why is she sometimes reading his lines? 34:27 I don't like it because especially you've not got to this point, but especially when it gets to more sharky Sharky and it's like about to be dumped in the ocean. Also, there's four hours left and they ready for throwing him in the ocean. I don't know where the storm is gonna go. 34:42 Speaker 2 Dump him in the Bay. 34:44 Speaker 1 Yeah, when it's right. Fuck she's doing. She's like doing a weird California surfer boy voice for him. But I'm like, that's not what Lewis sounds like when Lewis is talking I think. I don't know, it just sounds weird. If you're going to do it that way, just have him do all his lines and her do all her lines and have the stage directions done by not an AI robot woman. 35:05 Still sounds like a fucking robot though. 35:07 Speaker 2 Yeah, there's been a few other things that I've been like. I don't I don't like this a bit. 35:11 Speaker 1 Go on. 35:12 Speaker 2 I don't like, like, we've touched on Lewis and he's a failed player and he's extremely pretentious and that that might be what he's supposed to be. But at the same time, that might just be what the writer, she can't remember her name, thinks. He's what a great playwright, actually. 35:26 Speaker 1 Is yeah, yeah, yeah.
Initial gripes 35:28 Speaker 2 Because that seems very up in the air to me. Let's talk about Ren for a bit, which is her sort of archetype, is her own original character is the she was a woman who never thought she'd find love, or then she found love. 35:42 Speaker 1 Yeah, comes from a poor background, excels in school. Yeah, she, I don't know if you got to her back story where she was like very popular in school. Lots of boys liked her. She wasn't really interested in them. She went on dates and shit like that. 35:58 Speaker 2 Yeah. 35:59 Speaker 1 She gets groomed by a teacher. 36:01 Speaker 2 Jesus Christ. 36:03 Speaker 1 A lady teacher. I'm like so insane. You got she has like spoilers for you coming up. I'm not going to spoil too much, but she has like a year long relationship with a female teacher. Like essentially she gets groomed, you know. So let's go on a trip to California and runs like yeah, no, I don't really have enough money. 36:23 I'm a student. No, don't worry about that. We don't need, we don't need money, baby. Well, we're going. We don't need roads. And then the teacher, Rachel, turns to rant and says when this thing gets to 88 mph, you're going to see some serious shit. 36:43 Would have been a bad story if they didn't, if they just did. Back to the Future. But yeah, yeah, she's she has a weird long standing lesbian relationship with an older woman, which came out of nowhere, but also still feels like it falls in line with her very pretentious nature to it all. 37:04 Like because the chapter after that, she makes friends with a woman in therapy, you know, because it's like a therapy for my husband's going through some weird matamorphic change therapy council meeting things. She meets a woman there. I'm like, I am thinking, is she going to have romantic feelings for this woman? 37:21 Because you've set up that chapter before because that chapter came right before it. So I'm like thinking, is she going to be gay for this woman who's also this woman is pregnant. Have you met tiny pregnant lady yet or TPW as the caller in the stage directions. 37:36 Tiny pregnant woman didn't even bother giving her name. Again, that feels potential to support. It feels like it. I feel like I'm listening to a very pretentious indie film that's trying too hard. Like to have like you could see it in the in the credits rolling up tiny pregnant woman. 37:56 You know, that's what she was called. They never, they never named her. 37:59 Speaker 2 This what I'm about to say isn't to poo poo. Everyone who's going into, or should I say, who is in higher education feels like something that a student with no experience is written. 38:12 Speaker 1 Yeah, it feels like, I don't know, it just feels like it's taking all those indie boxes. Like, yeah, I'm, I'm listening to this daily and I'm thinking to myself, I reckon I can make this into a film and I reckon I can make this into a film with my limited director knowledge. 38:27 I take what's in the script, do things in a certain way. I could do something really visual with the everything cuts into a play scenes. Like you'd actually do it in a play. You can have two different costumes for the shark. You could have like a realistic grotesque body horror man turn into a shark. But when it's a stage play, it kind of looks a bit crummy and it looks like it'd be on the stage play. 38:47 You know, when he attacks someone, you have strings of ribbon for blood, but then it blocks out and then you're in the real world. Then there's real blood everywhere. I think you could do something interesting with it. But the fact that I'm thinking like that, like I know I could make this film as a real film just because I think it'd be easy and it'd probably do well. 39:03 It's it's kind of bad, you know, because I'm like, maybe I should contact this woman and buy the rights, Buy the movie rights for this. And then when it wins an Oscar, they'll be like, why do you do it? Why do you why do you do that? This thought it'd be easier. Oh. 39:21 Speaker 2 My God. 39:23 Speaker 1 Yeah, sometimes I zone out while I'm while I'm listening to I'm listening. I can, I can make this into a really good film that. 39:29 Speaker 2 I just don't know when I'm listening to this, I have to actually put the effort in to listen to you picked it you. 39:38 Speaker 1 Picked it. You picked it in this book club. 39:42 Speaker 2 And also you. 39:43 Speaker 1 Gotta finish it by next week. 39:45 Speaker 2 By next week. 39:46 Speaker 1 It's doable. It goes on a mile a minute.
Thinly veiled racism and bad nomenclature 39:49 Speaker 2 I'll tell you what else I thought was unnecessary. Yeah, the first day that that they go to this help centre therapy place because there's like. 39:58 Speaker 1 It's called like Oceana or something. Or ocean. Yeah, it's got like a sea furry name. 40:03 Speaker 2 Yeah, with like, like. 40:05 Speaker 1 There's more things. He's got more things. 40:08 Speaker 2 Let me just focus on the first one first, right? Because there's like 2 parts to the building in there. There's one which is like therapy for family and. 40:16 Speaker 1 There's six parts for the building I think you'll find a bit later on, but he ends up skipping like parts four and five and going straight. 40:24 Speaker 2 Well, yeah, but I mean, there's there is always in family counselling. Oh yeah. The rest of it is a facility for the for the people that are actually within change. 40:32 Speaker 1 Yeah, imagine they've got a fucking tank in there or something. 40:35 Speaker 2 I hope so. A bath that you. 40:37 Speaker 1 Swim about in there. 40:39 Speaker 2 Well, Ren's like the bird. Yeah, trying to get out because she's like, this is shit. I think she's talking about the book. She's trying to jump over the page and she gets stopped by, like, all the counsellors that work, though. 40:55 Yeah. And like, don't have a bit of a chat. I'm like, oh, why you? Oh, my husband. 40:59 Speaker 1 Oh, my husband sent into a show. 41:02 Speaker 2 Yeah, and then this councillor racially profiles this man. It's purely because he's turning into a great white shark. Yeah, unnecessary. 41:12 Speaker 1 Just another way to like, highlight prejudice in the world I guess. 41:15 Speaker 2 Yeah, I guess, but still. 41:18 Speaker 1 I'm completely unnecessary. God, what were the other things you were I'm in an errand about? 41:23 Speaker 2 This place is called Oceanic or whatever the fuck is called. 41:27 Speaker 1 Yeah, I think. 41:28 Speaker 2 SeaWorld, Fucking Blackfish. I don't know. It's it's, it's called something about the ocean. 41:33 Speaker 1 It's got Oceany in its name. Yeah, right. 41:35 Speaker 2 So these people cater to sharks, fish, dolphin, whales I guess. 41:42 Speaker 1 I imagine with. 41:42 Speaker 2 Foxes. Any any fucking mammal or bird. 41:46 Speaker 1 I guess. 41:47 Speaker 2 Why is it called that? 41:48 Speaker 1 I guess this specific clinic and therapy is for people going through sea life mutations. 41:55 Speaker 2 Well, there's loads of people that are turning to mammals and. 42:00 Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right. I don't know, maybe it's just a company name that just happens to coincide with the main character's story. Because again, it's like, hey, in a bit of coincidence that he's turned into a shark and then this place is called Oceanic or whatever. And like, yeah, it's a bit of coincidence They do other animals here. So yeah, yeah, they do all mutations. 42:16 Must just be a company name. Cool. But then the writer thinks it's clever because, yeah, maybe also. 42:24 Speaker 2 That that does sound like you're making an excuse for, honestly. 42:28 Speaker 1 Also very weird, weird world because you're thinking. When I first heard the concept, I thought it was just a thing that was only happening to this man. 42:36 Speaker 2 Yeah, this is something else that's going to bring up here. 42:38 Speaker 1 Happens to a lot of people. Apparently. The shark. The shark thing's rough. Most people might turn into a fucking go or something but. 42:47 Speaker 2 It's never explained. 42:48 Speaker 1 It's never explained and I don't think it's. 42:50 Speaker 2 Just a roll of the dice. What what you might turn into, right? Yeah. People have been turning into things for, what is it, 50 years. 42:57 Speaker 1 Something like that. Sixty years, essentially. 42:58 Speaker 2 And yet nobody knows how. Why? There's no there's. There isn't any sort of drug to help slow it. There's no cure for fucking anything. 43:07 Speaker 1 Nope, you just turn into an animal at some point. That's it. Look at the dice because they're forked. Yeah, they go to the families like no, no animal mutations have run in our family. We thought, what are they doing now? I I've got it. Cool. Essentially what it is, is the way I see it is like what I think what they're trying to do is like it's different forms of cancer, right? 43:28 Whatever lung cancer, skin cancer, whatever, different treatments for all. But like, what if that but animals, that's cool. And everyone's every. So people get this disease. It's rare. Like there's some that's rarer than the others. The great white shark's probably one of the rarest ones, apparently. 43:44 I. 43:45 Speaker 2 Don't even think it is because the way that this coastal was talking about it is that she seems fucking shit loads. 43:50 Speaker 1 He she does say it's I don't know if she says it yet, but she just say it's one of the rarer ones, but it doesn't say what a common one is. There is a point that I promise me you'll still listen to the rest of the book, because if I'm finishing it, you're finishing. 44:06 Speaker 2 It I'm going to finish it, right? I'm going to finish it. 44:09 Speaker 1 Again, makes no fucking sense. Makes no fucking sense. And I can't even figure out what the metaphor is trying to be here, right? This world exists where people just turn into animals at some point, and that's just a thing that happens and everybody accepts and everybody knows about it. 44:26 So there must be like if it's as big as cancer, there must be hundreds of people walking around going through half mutations, right? People walking around with hooves, people walking around with antlers until they get full mutated. If it was me, if I knew I had this mutation gun in the mouth done, I don't want to suffer through my bones forming together and mentioned. 44:46 Speaker 2 Breaking and weak, Wheezing and bending out of shape. 44:49 Speaker 1 Absolutely, that sounds. 44:50 Speaker 2 And then your lungs collapse into the film and then you fucking school like you. 44:56 Speaker 1 Why would I? Why would I want that for myself only to live my last few years as an as an animal? Presumably I'll have an animals brain and it's not really explained. It is going to it is explained. So like he he's losing his memory the more he turns into a shark, right? 45:12 So and he just doesn't really, he can't, he can't see letters and stuff. He sees them as shapes and whatnot. He can't understand. He can barely understand speech at this point coming from humans mouth because he is mostly a shark at this point. So it's like 1. 45:28 Speaker 2 Of the things that he said actually was. 45:31 Speaker 1 Street Sharks is rad. I'm going to be too awesome. Go on one of the things he said.
Get learnt about sharks 45:38 Speaker 2 This is something that I genuinely thought to myself, I'm going to look that up because I think that's bullshit. 45:43 Speaker 1 People can turn into sharks. 45:52 Speaker 2 It was the middle of the night and he was on his back porch looking at into like the back garden, whatever, and he said that he can see in the dark better than he can see in the daytime. 46:03 Speaker 1 Yeah, because of shark vision 'cause of the shark vision. 46:06 Speaker 2 I don't believe that sharks can do that. 46:08 Speaker 1 Rather, I don't know if it's true or not. Did you look it up? I meant. 46:11 Speaker 2 To I have literally only just remembered about it now I. 46:15 Speaker 1 Think shark can see better at night 'cause it it's darker in the ocean right the. 46:19 Speaker 2 I mean at the bottom, yeah. 46:21 Speaker 1 Yeah, well, darker in the ocean. 46:23 Speaker 2 All sharks are at the bottom of the. 46:25 Speaker 1 Ocean, but great white sharks are good deeper, don't they? I don't fucking know. 46:29 Speaker 2 Stop making excuses for this woman. 46:31 Speaker 1 I think she would have done. I think she would have done a shark research. 46:34 Speaker 2 This is what it feels like. 46:35 Speaker 1 She describes the skin. This is what she's done the research. 46:41 Speaker 2 This is what it feels like to me. It feels like she had this kooky idea of oh, wouldn't it be interesting if someone turned into a shark right? And then she had to like, stressfully whack her brain to try and build this world, which she knew that she wasn't capable of fucking. 46:55 Speaker 1 Doing right straight away, yes, sharks can see in the dark. They have excellent night vision. 47:01 Speaker 2 And better. 47:02 Speaker 1 They can see. They can. They can see extremely well in low light. 47:06 Speaker 2 Edition say better though does it lack of light or light which can they see better in? 47:13 Speaker 1 I don't know. You're saying they can see amazingly well in the dark. That's all I'm saying. But they can see amazingly well in the dark. I don't know. Maybe you get them out of the water and they're like, oh, fuck, where am I? OK, I. 47:24 Speaker 2 Wish it was pitch black. I'll. 47:25 Speaker 1 I'll rephrase the questions and shack see better the first response. Can sharks see better than dogs? Who's Googling that? Oh no, it's just smell better than dogs. And I imagine they can because they can smell like a drop of blood from like a mile away or something, right? 47:42 So so I mean, so they say. 47:45 Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like 1. It's like 1 to 50,000 parts in it or something like that. I don't know, to be honest with you. I know that sharks are pretty much covered in sensors. 47:55 Speaker 1 They have a reflective layer of tissue called the tarpatium lucidium behind their retina that helps them see better in the dark. 48:04 Speaker 2 Fair enough, I'll and I'll concede about that. 48:07 Speaker 1 Because the back of the shark's eyeballs have a reflective layer of tissue or something. It's called a night shark's green eye. Whatever sharks you better at night. She's done a research. She'll give her that. But yeah, but everything. But he says when he's looking at everything's got. 48:24 I don't think this part's true. If you're on about sight, everything, all the colours around him is getting muted. Like he's seeing things in grey scale. Like is that, is that because sharks are grey? Is that why you're seeing everything in grey scale? Well, because. 48:38 Speaker 2 Sharks have grey scale. 48:39 Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that's what she's getting at. So yeah, I don't know. But yeah, like I was saying, I'm still I'm employed to still listen to it. I don't because because. 48:50 Speaker 2 I'm not going to enjoy it. 48:51 Speaker 1 You're you're going to be able to. 48:52 Speaker 2 Commit veneer. 48:53 Speaker 1 Just I already come to the conclusion that this world in which this book is set in is not going to get explained to me and I'm not going to get answered because if if it was about answers on why this things, it becomes a science fiction story. Don't it about mutations and shit. 49:10 Speaker 2 She chose this. 49:11 Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, but you don't have to explain it. Whatever. Just throw it out though. Did Stephanie Meyer explain our vampires? No.
Vampirism in fanfics 49:19 Speaker 2 I have no idea to be. 49:21 Speaker 1 Honest, I've seen the films and had the books told to me. Very very contradictory. Right, tangent before I get back into this really annoying point that will make you stop listening to the book. 49:36 In Stephanie Meyer's lore of vampirism, right, the vampires have no blood or something like that. They have no blood in the system, or it's they're made of marble, or their skin is made of marble. So it's impossible for Edward to get wrecked, but he does have a marble size, like a marble strength penis. 49:59 Well, that's just something that they keep just forgetting about. And the skin is like that of diamonds, so it's very brittle if it's like hit in a certain way. Which is why there's that one shitty fight scene where the Reds and their arms are just popping off like they're fucking Lego figures. Dumb dumb. Her vampire was awful. 50:15 You can rewrite Vampire all you want, but just make it good. 50:19 Speaker 2 Is the skin like marble or is it like diamonds? 50:21 Speaker 1 Marble, but it sparkles like diamonds. But it feels like marble. I mean, is it that they have blood or they don't have sperm? I can't remember what it is. Well, no. 50:30 Speaker 2 They must have sperm. 50:31 Speaker 1 Because no, no, no. Yeah, They don't have blood. Yeah, it's blood that they don't have. They just we. 50:36 Speaker 2 Definitely have SPAF. 50:38 Speaker 1 Definitely full of SPAF. No, but it's very Belle was a weird case. It's like no vampire has ever impregnated another vampire, or no vampire has ever impregnated a human. Yeah, because it was when she was still human. No vampire has ever impregnated someone before. And then they just went on and eventually went Oh no, here they are Look at this tribe of pregnant people who got pregnant just been hidden away.
Pregnant with twin birds 51:00 Anyway, so this bit in the book, this is going to be about a tiny pregnant woman that is her name meets meets Ren. Like the bird me or something, not just Shamir at the swimming baths. I can't remember this women I know because Ren's trying to get practicing for swimming, because I'm not going to tell you where that part of the story goes, but you can surmise your own things. 51:21 Ren's practicing swimming, all right. You can figure out in your own head where that's going to go anyway, Tiny pregnant woman is pregnant with two birds. So she has a husband. 51:36 She has, she has a fellow and a fellow had normal sex with her, but what gestated inside her womb was two like finches or something, 2 little birds that are that she's worried about like inside of her. 51:54 She's worried about that before she can give birth to them, they'll claw her way out of they'll claw there and Peck their way out of the womb and then she dies. That's her big fear. She's got birds growing inside of her. There was a moment, I can't remember how the conversation went, but Wren did straight up ask her. 52:13 Well, she straight up right? 52:15 Speaker 2 Wait, wait. 52:16 Speaker 1 Yeah, how could this be symbolizing? 52:18 Speaker 2 I don't know genuinely if you anticipated me to ask you this question. 52:23 Speaker 1 Go on. 52:24 Speaker 2 Does she have two eggs in her or two birds that are forming by an umbilical cord? 52:31 Speaker 1 I don't think they explain it in science wise, but from the description of what she said, they are birds that are flapping a clown around inside of A room. 52:38 Speaker 2 Fucking stupid. 52:40 Speaker 1 And I know that's why you're going to not want to read the rest of the book, but you have to. 52:45 Speaker 2 I am going to do. I'm not angry the whole time. The next six hours I'm going to be. 52:54 Speaker 1 Science isn't a thing that's in the anyway, like Ren says, kind of coyly says. So why don't you get an abortion? Why don't you just get them terminated? And then she just doesn't for some reason. I'm like, but why? Why would you want to try and give birth to pecky, scratchy things? 53:11 Why would you go through the metamorphosis of changing into a fucking animal? Also, I feel like this person read Matamorphis, you know, the play into a book and then that was a massive inspiration to this. Like because obviously the author comes from a stage background. 53:30 Obviously I think, you know, I imagine she was like a playwright or she because it feels very playwrighty anyway. And I'm like, if if the bot if the play Matamorphis is not an influence, what's the word of an influence on her? That would be insane. I, I would not believe it if if, if I saw an interview and went, oh, have you ever read Matamoros's? 53:49 No, I don't. I've never heard of it. Never heard of it. Oh, it's fine. It's. 53:54 Speaker 2 Would you get the inspiration for the original idea All came from in the. 53:59 Speaker 1 So you never read the play about a guy turned into a bug going to work every day, but he's still? 54:04 Speaker 2 Fucking mad. I don't know who Eli Woth is. Tim Wolfe. It's Tim Wolfe. 54:10 Speaker 1 Tim RAF did it. Yeah, Russian play or something. 54:12 Speaker 3 In it, it's like a yeah. 54:13 Speaker 1 Something like that, Yeah, Yeah. But. 54:16 Speaker 2 Yeah, I remember studied that in. 54:17 Speaker 1 College and then again in uni and I'm like yeah, guy turns into a bug. I get it I get it the drone of going to work every day and slowly becoming a creature that's drone based. You know it's not even slow though, is it? It's like he. 54:32 Speaker 2 That he wakes up bug a cockroach, I think yeah. 54:36 Speaker 1 Yeah, it's. 54:36 Speaker 2 Cockroach. It's like it goes to bed when. 54:38 Speaker 1 That wakes up bug but everyone treats him like it's normal or something, which is what I think she's going for in this. But it's like, because at first when he gets diagnosed with sharkism, she's like, he doesn't want to tell her. 54:53 Speaker 3 For ages.
Would you go through a forced gradual animorphism? 54:54 Speaker 1 And then he tells her, like, so it's clearly a thing. That is a thing that's happening all over the world. Yeah, people are turning to goats, people. But like I said, if you've got this diagnosed, what would you do? Would you just live it out? It depends on you think a great white. 55:07 Speaker 2 Shark would be pretty cool but. 55:10 Speaker 1 Because you're an apex predator rather than turn into AI. Don't know, like a fucking dog or a cat or something. A dog could be pretty good though, wouldn't it? Yeah, because I imagine you'd. 55:19 Speaker 2 Yeah, but imagine if you still have. 55:20 Speaker 1 Imagine if you're married right? You turn into a dog. Obviously it's easier for the your wife or what would be your carer to look after you a bit more because it's just like having a pet man. But then imagine if there is still some sort of consciousness inside you. They always say it about zombies or maybe there is still some some semblance of questions. 55:37 Do you want to say in the book is is the like say with Lewis? 55:41 Speaker 2 Yeah, he can't read and he's losing his memory and. 55:43 Speaker 1 He is. 55:44 Speaker 2 Like his human brain is now becoming shark brain. But we don't. We don't know and I don't. 55:49 Speaker 1 Think it's enough? Research has been done into this, like mutation disease. The writer didn't fucking bother coming up with anything. 55:57 Speaker 2 That's. But let's let's just say, what if some. 56:00 Speaker 1 Semblance of memories left behind, but we don't know that you're turned into a dog and then you're watching your wife get fucking raised up by some next door neighbor who's just comforting her and then you're still the dog and you're just watching. It's biting like. 56:13 Speaker 2 Dead hard on his deck. I'd bite his deck off. 56:20 Speaker 3 Yeah. And then you. 56:22 Speaker 2 Just look at your. 56:22 Speaker 1 Wife and like grail her out Oh my God hey the. 56:27 Speaker 3 Guy didn't the main. 56:29 Speaker 1 Character was writing an incest story which was pretentious. Don't, don't, don't throw it down in this world of people and loved ones turn into animals that then people don't get freaky with the animals afterwards. 56:45 There's a point. Do you know, like Ren really wants a baby, but he doesn't want to have a baby and that's like a big thing. And that seems like a fucking trope with these boring ass fucking. I really want to I don't want to show because I want to be a famous playwriter and I have not lived on whatever. 57:01 There's a point when he's. 57:03 Speaker 2 He's half a shark. 57:04 Speaker 1 Half a man, he's like got one fin and one arm. Something's all fucked up. He's in the bath and he's I don't cut him in column my bath, he says. And she's like, OK, she gets in the bath with him and then she's like, you know, hugging him and what not. 57:21 And then she's just hey, Louis, will you run? Should we try for that baby now? Absolutely. No, you wouldn't. You just wouldn't. I don't care how much I love my loved one. If they were turned into an animal I had to like, they had to live in the sink. 57:44 Speaker 3 Also, she, I, I don't know if you you got to. 57:47 Speaker 1 A certain part she's explicitly expressed that if you caress the skin one way, it's fine, it's really smooth. But if you go back and it's coarse and scratch her, shit cuts herself if she goes the other way. Imagine making love to something like that. Imagine if you were. Even if they were a fully formed normal person and they're an absolute smoke show, but yet if I held them in the wrong way I got caught up not risking it. 58:13 I can't even touch A. 58:14 Speaker 3 Woman in a velvet dress. 58:17 Speaker 1 Let alone shark. 58:18 Speaker 3 Skin. Sorry. 58:20 Speaker 1 Love, it's not happening. You know I can take off the velvet. No. If it makes me sick. Oh, by the way it feels makes me gag. I'll just take it. No, it's too late. Damage is done. I'll see it on the floor. What if I stand on it? 58:36 Oh my. 58:37 Speaker 3 Fucking I imagine. 58:38 Speaker 2 Sharks going to do a similar thing to me. 58:41 Speaker 1 So it's not the listen. 58:43 Speaker 3 I think there. 58:44 Speaker 1 Has been. There has been some. 58:45 Speaker 2 Moments where I thought. 58:47 Speaker 1 This is a bit sad and it's a bit I could see how someone could get emotional about it, but there has been a lot of moments where I've done this more. No, none of that, only because it's describing about how grotesque it looks.
A REALLY good bit, might be Mikes favourite so far actually 59:04 Oh, there's a really good bet. Spoilers. You'll love this bet. It'll make you want to keep reading. This is after you find out about the tiny bird. So you look forward to this bit. OK, I think he's still walking at this point. 59:14 Speaker 3 And he's like begging. 59:15 Speaker 1 Her for like have a day off work because she's got meetings and shit like that. What does she even do? She's like some boring contractor meetings, financial advisor or something. Some boring. 59:28 Speaker 2 Ass off his job anyway. 59:30 Speaker 1 She's important. She does a lot of meetings. Anyway, he's begging her to have a day off. Like, oh, spend it with me. I want to have a day off. Spend it with me. And he's like, yeah, sure, sure. What do you want to do? We'll, I'll, I'll move some things around. We'll have a day off. I want to go to the aquarium. 59:49 Speaker 3 And she's like and then, and then she says, why? What? 59:54 Speaker 1 Do you mean why? Because I'm not going to turn into a fish. I want to see what sort of fish things I'm going to be living with. I imagine he was doing research for what he was going to be later on in life anyway. I gotta say that I am with Ren on this, but why? 1:00:07 Speaker 2 'Cause I don't know, I guess he wants to be with the fish people. 1:00:10 Speaker 1 Go out and do something that he wants to go to the aquarium. 1:00:13 Speaker 2 You know, and he wants her to have a day. 1:00:15 Speaker 1 Off to take him. Surely there were better date nights anyway for them both? 1:00:19 Speaker 2 Anyway, yeah, you're taking Ren. You're absolutely right, A. 1:00:21 Speaker 1 Reminder of see that that's gonna be. 1:00:24 Speaker 2 Me in two months, yeah. So bye, bitch. Take it to fucking dinner. Yeah, OK. I don't know. Take dinner. She's going to be there. He's going to end up. He's going to end. 1:00:36 Speaker 1 Up eating right now he's that's where I did this book going he's going to be you know but she's going to be happy about something I don't know anyway they're at the aquarium all's going well until like they go to the the shark feeding exhibit and then. 1:00:55 Speaker 2 He's like sort. 1:00:56 Speaker 1 Of shark instincts kick in or take over for a bit and then he like loses like control of himself sort of like he doesn't become Lewis in this moment and it's just all animal instincts kicking him and he's just that's like banging on the glass till his hands are like bloody and red. 1:01:12 He's like and and and the way it's described in the book is like he's saying profanities at the shark while he's banging on the glass and. 1:01:21 Speaker 3 Screaming. 1:01:23 Speaker 1 And he doesn't say what these profanities are. 1:01:25 Speaker 3 But in my. 1:01:26 Speaker 1 Head I interpreted it with I I I was thinking what racial slurs is he calling that shark? My God, anyway. 1:01:34 Speaker 3 A couple of guards come out. 1:01:36 Speaker 2 Security. 1:01:37 Speaker 1 Guys come over, then he ends up like slapping himself. There's blood everywhere and it ends up being a nightmare. And then they get banned from the aquarium. And then naturally, I mean, you know, if it's if it's a lifeblood, I don't think it. 1:01:48 Speaker 2 Really they're they're in the car on the way home and like and. 1:01:52 Speaker 1 Loses like, oh, I hope this wasn't made the papers. Can't believe we got banned from the aquarium. Yeah, I think it's aquarium. I think it's just a zoo that you wanted. 1:02:01 Speaker 3 To visit but it just. 1:02:02 Speaker 1 Had a big aquarium section which is weird. Now I'm thinking about it. Why would a zoo have an aquarium section? I mean Z still have like aquatic stuff in it. 1:02:11 Speaker 2 Yeah, they do. Like I've been Chester. I've seen like the Gators. 1:02:13 Speaker 1 And shit, but do they have sharks there as well? Chester No. No. 1:02:19 Speaker 2 But yeah, that's. 1:02:22 Speaker 1 Let's shut Shark out and next week or next episode, we'll we'll tell you we'll tell you how it ends so you don't have to. It will suffer. We'll suffer through it accidentally the next. 1:02:35 Speaker 2 Episode is going to be the first episode of being like cry on earth because. 1:02:43 Speaker 3 You've been so swept up in Shark Out. 1:02:46 Speaker 2 Jesus Christ. Insane. Honestly, it's getting to. 1:02:49 Speaker 1 The point where I. 1:02:50 Speaker 2 Am enjoying it. 1:02:50 Speaker 1 Because it's bad. I will say though, it's an easy. I would say like the way it's written or the way it's read, whatever is in it's done in a way to make an idiot feel smart. I can imagine some GCSE level person reading it thinking it's a very piece of profound work when it's not. 1:03:12 It makes you feel smart. And this is something that I've heard a lot with a lot of these basic books. If a book has short chapters, it makes you feel smarter because you have done a chapter. But again, listening to it, which it doesn't announce the chapters because if it did announce the chapters, it'd be like every other sentence. 1:03:29 Yeah. Do you know? There isn't even that much of A pause is no just. 1:03:32 Speaker 2 Straight into it. You don't. If you're listening to it, you don't know. 1:03:35 Speaker 1 It's going into a new chapter, but when you check your phone or whatever you're like shit. Chapter 37 I'm still on the 1st. 1:03:43 Speaker 3 Page. Yeah, I don't know. 1:03:45 Speaker 1 What the writer differentiates as a chapter, yeah, I don't know, because it's all flowing. 1:03:51 Speaker 2 It's flowing pretty. 1:03:52 Speaker 1 Easily. And it's whatever, like I said, it's going a mile a minute. Yeah, yeah. I mean we. 1:03:59 Speaker 3 Have we have spoke? 1:04:00 Speaker 2 About a lot of the cons and a lot of our gripes but yeah, to be fair, it's it is it is getting to the point quick in it, you know yeah. Like he he he started getting that shark nose within. 1:04:12 Speaker 1 The first minute, but I thought it was going to take way longer. Oh no. Yeah, yeah. For me it's like. 1:04:18 Speaker 2 Almost a full. 1:04:19 Speaker 1 Shark so you know she's ready for dumping him in the. 1:04:24 Speaker 3 Ocean, he's like. 1:04:26 Speaker 1 He's is there really no. 1:04:28 Speaker 2 Animal that that you would think, you know what? Maybe I will stick it out, get some shenanigans of a turn into a monkey, I guess. Yeah, like maybe. 1:04:39 Speaker 3 A gorilla or. 1:04:41 Speaker 2 No, I want to be one of those. 1:04:43 Speaker 1 I want to be one of them monkeys that like. 1:04:46 Speaker 2 I don't know the. 1:04:47 Speaker 1 Breed of them, The breed of them, the species, you know those ones that like big tourist, big tourist attraction in China. And then they're just like in the mountains. There's like a shit ton of monkeys everywhere and they just fuck about with the tourists stealing the food and shit like that. 1:05:04 I want to be one of those guys. I'd be like, if I got that disease, I like, just throw me on that monkey mountain in China. Just throw me up in Flower Mountain Cave. 1:05:15 Speaker 3 Leave the destiny, I'll get up to mischief. 1:05:20 Speaker 1 But I'm main character. 1:05:21 Speaker 2 Monkey, I'm going to become blackmail Wukong. 1:05:24 Speaker 1 I'm gonna. Yeah, I think so. I'm gonna be. I'm gonna. 1:05:26 Speaker 2 Become Sun Wu. 1:05:27 Speaker 1 Kong. I mean, you wouldn't even love the thought pauses at all. Yeah. 1:05:30 Speaker 2 If I think about long enough as a human. 1:05:34 Speaker 1 You don't know the rules, you don't know the rules of what a human is. And then like if it was fully sci-fi, like which is what it would be better if it was fully sci-fi and like it could explain the stuff like you could go into some sort of law that like animals were never on the planet originally, you know, and every animal was at some point a human that might have some interesting things, but they're not going to do that. 1:05:58 I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't like that you don't like anything. 1:06:02 Speaker 2 I like some things all. 1:06:03 Speaker 1 Right, I like them. 1:06:04 Speaker 2 Short, but I had earlier and then perfectly square shortbread. Yeah, they're nice. 1:06:09 Speaker 1 They weren't bad. I mean, they weren't great, but they weren't bad. Sorry. 1:06:13 Speaker 2 Shit, review a bit. 1:06:15 Speaker 3 Dry. 1:06:16 Speaker 1 It's cake though, isn't it? You. 1:06:17 Speaker 2 Can't really go wrong with cake.
Chocolate banana muffins 1:06:19 Speaker 1 Not unless it's got fruit, nuts and raisins in it. Then yeah, cake can be shit. But other than that, now you can't really go wrong with any sort of cake. Shit. We sell these muffins at work now. Oh yeah, banana and chocolate. 1:06:35 Banana and chocolate muffins. So fucking good. 1:06:38 Speaker 2 I'm not a big banana guy. 1:06:40 Speaker 1 No, I find a potassium. 1:06:41 Speaker 2 Potassium's all right, I think. 1:06:42 Speaker 1 That might be the best bit of. 1:06:45 Speaker 2 Love a banana? Is it just the fact that you feel? 1:06:47 Speaker 1 Uncomfortable eating a banana in a room full of men. Oh imagine I will Fellate. 1:06:52 Speaker 2 Anything in front of. 1:06:53 Speaker 1 Anybody imagine? 1:06:56 Speaker 2 Imagine being in. 1:06:57 Speaker 1 A sauna. 1:06:58 Speaker 3 Just eating a banana. 1:07:01 Speaker 1 Just she'd be in a. 1:07:03 Speaker 3 Sauna. Just whip it, where would you? 1:07:04 Speaker 1 Whip it out from for a start. That's if I had. 1:07:08 Speaker 3 A hidden camera TV prank show that's. 1:07:10 Speaker 1 Something I'd do, God do it in real life, but I feel there'd be no benefit if I don't don't put it out there for the public. I would go into a sauna and just whip out a. 1:07:19 Speaker 3 Banana from a towel. 1:07:20 Speaker 1 And just start eating it in front of these sweaty old men. Can I have a bite? No, get your own slapping away. 1:07:28 Speaker 3 Old hands while I'm eating some. 1:07:30 Speaker 1 Some sweaty steamy fruit because it is a very sweaty, steamy room. Speaking of sweaty, steamy men, Oh is. 1:07:42 Speaker 2 In This is a new segment by Mike, he's going to tell us something called Sweaty. 1:07:49 Speaker 3 Steamy man. I mean in the sense. 1:07:51 Speaker 1 Of like sweaty is in sweaty and grotesque and steamy is in angry and horrible in in the way I was trying to do. Yeah, OK, OK. 1:08:00 Speaker 2 I'm just trying to find a way to like segue. 1:08:02 Speaker 3 Into this sort of part.
Not-so-current affairs (not a political podcast) 1:08:03 Speaker 1 Of it like remember last week when we did oh, in a couple of days on Monday, Donald Trump's going to become president of the United States that Monday's passed and now it's back to being Saturday again. What's happened What's happened like a year's worth of. 1:08:22 Speaker 2 Things have happened. 1:08:25 Speaker 1 A lot of things have transpired on. 1:08:28 Speaker 2 American's I understand I'm I'm glad I'm not an American if. 1:08:34 Speaker 1 I was an American. I'd be more angry than I am now, and I'm already pretty fucking angry about it all. If I'm being honest. I've been pretty glad. 1:08:42 Speaker 2 That I'm not an American for a very long time anyway. Yeah, just because the state of how I wish things fucking cost and fucking oh God do you know what I mean? Like I'm British and I get. 1:08:54 Speaker 1 Free health care, but I still. 1:08:55 Speaker 2 Don't fucking use that. 1:08:56 Speaker 1 Like imagine, right, I came off my bike last week. Imagine if I went to hospital just for a checkup. Yeah, I would have been a couple of £100 that I didn't want to give just for them to go. Now you'll be fine. A couple 100 be more. Yeah, I know a lot more because a few 1000 is what it would be. Now, do you want to? Actually, no. 1:09:12 Speaker 2 Absolutely not. 1:09:13 Speaker 1 Jonathan, I did the ambulance, no. 1:09:15 Speaker 2 Way fucking no I don't. I just, I just came. 1:09:18 Speaker 3 Off my bike, I'll cycle. 1:09:19 Speaker 2 Myself to the hospital, thank you. 1:09:20 Speaker 1 Very much your face is bleeding you. 1:09:23 Speaker 3 Feel like piano? It'd be fine. 1:09:25 Speaker 1 Don't you worry about it. It was like that before I came off. 1:09:30 Speaker 2 Actually not your. 1:09:31 Speaker 3 Business, not your business you are going. 1:09:33 Speaker 2 To go check get yourself checked out though aren't. 1:09:34 Speaker 1 You no, which is what I told people I told people I went to A and AI didn't. I don't have time for the waiting times. I knew after about 30 minutes after my accident, like you know what, I'm fine. But yeah, I fun fact, fun fact, Canada has free. 1:09:52 Speaker 3 Healthcare. 1:09:54 Speaker 1 Every developed nation on the planet has every healthcare. 1:09:57 Speaker 2 Apart from America, Donald Trump has said if Canada become the. 1:10:01 Speaker 1 51st state one of the benefits is they'll have better healthcare. They'll have to start paying for it if they become American. Insane. Like why is he just making up these rules? Let's say you actually benefit greatly because of this. I generally think I don't know why he wants to buy Canada. 1:10:18 I don't know why he wants to have it as part of America, and I think the only thing is, is because Canada itself as a country is bigger than America. America's split up into like 50 states. Canada is bigger than those 50 States and it's just Canada. 1:10:34 I'm not sure if it is, to be honest. It's pretty fucking big. 1:10:37 Speaker 2 It's all those America. 1:10:39 Speaker 1 Bigger I've not I've. 1:10:40 Speaker 2 Not looked into it. Yes, Canada. 1:10:42 Speaker 1 Is larger than the. 1:10:42 Speaker 2 United States in terms of land. 1:10:44 Speaker 1 Area. I'm assuming that Canada has some sort of a natural resource frost. 1:10:50 Speaker 2 Ice. 1:10:52 Speaker 1 Tim horton's Maple syrup. Yeah, straight from the trees. Do you know what I mean? 1:10:56 Speaker 2 That that might be what it might. 1:11:00 Speaker 3 Be that what Donnie's after, I don't know. 1:11:02 Speaker 2 No, but you know what I mean. Like the whole thing about wanting Greenland is speculated for the precious metals that that are in the ground. There's a map of Canada and America for size comparison. 1:11:14 Speaker 1 I know, but you see that green bit that's on top of calendar that's more. 1:11:17 Speaker 2 Of America, well, the bit that's penetrating America, no, that although. 1:11:21 Speaker 1 What that although? 1:11:23 Speaker 2 Yeah, the more light green, Yeah, that's more of America. Yeah, I know. But OK, I'm looking at one. It's too many that are. 1:11:30 Speaker 1 In a similar style, but. 1:11:35 Speaker 3 Yeah. No, there's that's. 1:11:38 Speaker 1 That's just the other map. People love doing that, don't they? 1:11:45 Speaker 2 I. 1:11:46 Speaker 3 Suppose I'll explain. 1:11:49 Speaker 1 No. 1:11:52 Speaker 3 Honestly, when we ever get around to it and set up a. 1:11:55 Speaker 1 Patreon and we buy other equipment. These visual gags will go down a tree. 1:12:04 Speaker 3 Sure, I was just thinking like. 1:12:06 Speaker 2 We'd knock up like a TikTok page or something. We just like we could just post like a quick clip of us just doing whatever argument, just sifting through the hours of footage just to. 1:12:15 Speaker 1 Get like a funny sound bite that we can post online. It's doable. I, I think it's very, I suppose what we could do if we wanted to do that, set up a camera and stuff somewhere just to do those quick TikTok clips after we've done an episode, write down what bits we think could be like good 2 minute sections for. 1:12:35 Yeah, we'll set up a camera. You bloody convinced us. No, because then it'll be me showing you a clip. 1:12:45 Speaker 3 Of like me showing. 1:12:46 Speaker 1 You footage of the map I just showed you, then having to hold it up to the camera because I know we don't have the world. We've all to go. Let's edit what's on my phone just now into the Ted Talk clip. You know like when they talk about something usually and then just edit in a normal picture. I don't know how editing on TikTok works if it's that easy. 1:13:01 Only because we've never tried to do it. 1:13:05 Speaker 2 And I don't want to try and I don't want to learn. I'm an old man. 1:13:08 Speaker 1 Yeah, resources thing. But the whole thing about Greenland, again, it's because it's so Canada's here and it's pretty massive and then Greenland's just a bit above it really. And to me that just feels like encroaching territory doing just getting further and further up. I think the more the America because Greenland's more. 1:13:26 Speaker 2 Green is just most mostly ice. 1:13:27 Speaker 1 Anywhere, yeah, but there's precious metals and minerals that that were in the ground I. 1:13:31 Speaker 2 Don't know, it's just the kind of metals and minerals that they use. 1:13:34 Speaker 1 For making circuit. 1:13:35 Speaker 2 Boards like Yeah, and because Donald Trump announced recently that. 1:13:39 Speaker 1 They're going to be the 4th month country, like investing mostly in AI and other shit like that. And AI is like, OK, computer generated images, artificially intelligent generated images, whatever that is a massive resource on energy. 1:13:56 Like you burn a couple of 1000 trees just doing a silly image prompt, you know, because of the process of power it fucking takes. So is America ready to like, burn the Amazon down just to have the forward in AI technology? Yeah. 1:14:12 Yeah, they are. Yeah, they've already back to things. 1:14:15 Speaker 3 Like World Health. 1:14:16 Speaker 2 Organization, they've already back to things like the Palace agreement, treat Insane, which is the one the World Health Organization. 1:14:24 Speaker 1 Is in check. There's like two countries in the world that aren't in it, and America's one of them, and I can't remember what the other one in. It's a North African country in it, yeah. 1:14:33 Speaker 2 Something like that, but you know, China's in it north. 1:14:35 Speaker 1 Korea's in it. South Korea's in it. Yeah. America's like, yeah, no, you said South Korea, like South Korea is done. 1:14:42 Speaker 2 That's honestly I forgot which Korea was the bad one for. 1:14:45 Speaker 1 A second I'm gonna cast a wide. 1:14:49 Speaker 3 Net. 1:14:51 Speaker 2 My basics. 1:14:53 Speaker 3 I know it's North Korea. 1:14:54 Speaker 2 But I panicked I best. 1:14:56 Speaker 1 Said both of them just in case I forget which one the bad one was. That way if I say I'm both I'm not wrong. Like if I just said South Korea or left North Korea would have been weird. But the point is they are both. Both the Koreas are in it and that facts a true fact so I never even had to cover my grinds of saying. 1:15:15 Speaker 3 I forgot which one was the. 1:15:15 Speaker 1 Bad one, just naming all the countries, yeah. 1:15:19 Speaker 3 Yeah, I can't. I can't. 1:15:20 Speaker 1 Remember exactly what it's called? It's. 1:15:22 Speaker 2 Something like the treaty or the Para St. as well. Yeah. And that's focusing on a. 1:15:27 Speaker 1 Green energy. 1:15:28 Speaker 2 That's something that fossil fuels and that's something. 1:15:31 Speaker 1 That the last. 1:15:33 Speaker 2 Government of. 1:15:33 Speaker 1 UK tried to back out of as well the Tories. They they wanted to have England leave the parish treat Yeah I'm like why? Why the Because the Tories are comparable. 1:15:46 Speaker 2 To the Republicans, yeah, yeah, evil and money driven, they are more. More. 1:15:50 Speaker 1 More money in. 1:15:51 Speaker 2 Like fucking fossil fuels and shit and. 1:15:54 Speaker 1 Burning the planet down again, but let's not forget that it was then that was trying to sell. 1:15:59 Speaker 2 The NHS as well, trying to make our country more in line with America, more privatised. Yeah, that was so close to happening as. 1:16:07 Speaker 1 Well, like a lot of people, a lot of people in parliament voted for it because obviously the Tories and those sort of parties had more seats, had more votes. I think if, if Labour didn't get in this time, that might have actually fucking happened. 1:16:22 Scary times, right? Yeah, Say what you will, but in case, Simon, but it's just like, whatever. Just have him there just for being Labour for a second. Just anybody else. Yeah, but. 1:16:32 Speaker 2 Better, it'll still. 1:16:33 Speaker 1 Get vilified and hard like. 1:16:34 Speaker 2 Chimp on the fucking. 1:16:36 Speaker 1 Seat. As long as long as it's in a better party. Yeah. Than the Tories. A lot. Not just a chimp. Yeah, yeah, but let's just have an ape. 1:16:44 Speaker 2 Run the country for a bit and see how much it fucks up. Don't. Because that's how you get better, man. 1:16:53 Speaker 1 I think. 1:16:54 Speaker 3 That's the plot. A better man, right? An ape. 1:16:56 Speaker 1 Tries to be in a band. No, no, I said. An ape. 1:17:01 Speaker 3 Not a washed up fucking. 1:17:02 Speaker 2 Loser. 1:17:07 Speaker 3 To be fair, as far as apes go. 1:17:10 Speaker 1 Things all right for a monkey. 1:17:16 Speaker 3 Oh my God, have you seen that? 1:17:19 Speaker 2 Have you seen Nope Horror? 1:17:20 Speaker 1 Film Nope. Nope, you've not seen Nope. Oh no, you've not seen Nope. It's a Nope for Nope. I've not seen it. 1:17:28 Speaker 2 It's a good flick, keeps kind. 1:17:31 Speaker 1 Of way to these moments of it is relevant to the plot somehow, but not relevant to a plot. It's just like keeps going away to these moments of it's all about like nostalgia and old Hollywood and stuff, but keeps going away to this old sitcom where the a monkey was the main character, but it went mental and like killed everyone. 1:17:49 And so I was in a couple of posts. I've even done one myself where it's all like just this monkey covered around in like blood and carnage. Like why? Why did Robbie Williams do this funny stuff? 1:18:01 Speaker 3 Well. 1:18:02 Speaker 1 We'll get a bit. 1:18:03 Speaker 2 Robotronic, you know, probably going to end it soon anyway. Should we leave on a? 1:18:07 Speaker 1 Robotronic now? Yeah, let's wrap up. Yeah, save A. 1:18:10 Speaker 2 Little bit again it's. 1:18:12 Speaker 1 Only this last little. 1:18:13 Speaker 2 Bit sorry guys, this is what. 1:18:14 Speaker 1 We sound like when we sound like that narrator from Shaq. Have you got a Simpsons quote? I'm trying to think of one I thought I'd like. 1:18:20 Speaker 2 Preparing for one so quick I'm just. 1:18:22 Speaker 1 Have you got one on you? I've got, I've got one in there. I have one in the bubble. 1:18:26 Speaker 2 I'm going to leave with you. Call them steamed. 1:18:29 Speaker 1 Hands when these are quite obviously grilled, Michael. That's how I'm leaving this 10. But my bones are so brittle. 1:18:39 Speaker 2 But I always drink my milk. Milk.

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Episodes > Episode twelve transcript

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