CUBELORE

• Mike isn’t colourblind, he’s done tests

Episode twenty two

• Cuber Gooding Junior Sunday is the cube equivalent of Easter Sunday
• Scientists put the Large Hadron Collider experiment on hold to work out how to create a Vanilla Iced Cube T. The cube boys are assisting as best as they can.
• Jack and Mike may be able to escape the cube when the Large Hadron Collider is turned back on
• Jack loves to hate on things as much as the next person
• Jack doesn’t like watching trailers
• Mike enjoys a nice, silvery body

Episode twenty

• Mike really likes A24
• A giant Yoko Ono head floats around the stratosphere of the cube. She sounds a bit like the albatross, easy mistake to make.
• Mike’s memory spans three names, occasionally more if in relation to a beloved childhood TV series
• The cube is inclusive; the Q in LGBTQ stands for Cube
• No tariffs can touch the cube
• Nothing can be exported from the cube, but everything does appear for free in the cube
• A couple of penguins could appear in the cube, if we're lucky
• The cube is just like the second lethal weapon movie, in the sense Mike and Jack have diplomatic immunity
• Edgar Allan Crow (EAC, pronounded 'eek') is a pesky avian specialising in robotronic voice imitation
• EAC is a robotronic corvid who haunts the cube boys and comes to make them sound bad
• In many ways he’s worse than the albatross

Episode nineteen

• The albatross doesn’t come round as much as Mike would like
• If you look Mike in the eyes, he’ll attack you (he’s aggressive)

Episode eighteen

• Mike's pet peeves includes Simpsons episodes where people learn stuff such as languages or manners
• Mike is the aggressive one who is against learning (just languages)
• Mike’s first kiss was with a German foreign exchange student who was the bomb
• Mike’s been doing a lot of boxing training lately, not to brag
• Mike's fists, or alternatively testes, are named Tom O'Leary and Joe Jackson
• Mike leaves it up to the listener to decide which one is the left one and which one is the right one when you meet the cube boys at their live show

Episode seventeen

• Mike is an ideas man, a premise boy, a man of concepts, a conceptual being
• Mike: The conceptual man, the conceiver, Mike the Idea
• Jack just has to put some meat in it
• Mike’s brain space was once invaded by Nickelodeon for the specific purpose of extracting his idea for the Rugrats spin-off, All Grown Up!
• Jack: the meat and veg man, the executioner
• Mike and Jack have a secret handshake
• Mike's pet peeves include past cringe memories
• You have to calculate time in the cube by dividing by 8 and finding the cube root

Episode sixteen

• Jack has the fastest fingers in the cube and will do whatever the ladies want him to do
• You can find intimate images of Jack at the following address:
  • Jack's Cock 'n' Balls
    Square Avencube
    Cubeton
    Cube
    CUBE
• The alatross sounds like he is in pain because he lives in the cube

Episode fifteen

• Mikes neighbour, Tom in the cube, has a vestigial tail
• Mike has an undeveloped palate; anything is either chicken or not chicken

Episode fourteen

• Mike’s lips are just too juicy to swig from a bottle of ale
• Make is racist against dark elves
• Our Korea (the Korea of the cube)
• Mike wants big gay fan edits, or fan art he can put up on the fridge
• There is only one fridge in the cube, but it’s an infinite fridge. Everyone has their own shelf. Known as the Gigafridge, it appears like a walk-in (Walken) fridge you might find at the back of a restaurant. The fridge is technologically advanced enough to select the correct shelf for the person who uses it.
• Christopher Walken came to the cube and provided the voice lines for the fridge
• People from the outside world can visit the cube, and they leave some of their essence when they leave
• The address of the cube is: Cube, 739, POCube, Cubebox, Tesseract Lane, Cubeton
• Silver Surfer is Mike's boy

Episode thirteen

• Mike can’t touch you if you’re wearing a velvet dress

Episode twelve

• Wallace & Gromit is set locally in the cube
• Sometimes the pelican is too tired to peck you

Episode eleven

• Mike's nicknames include Iron Mike and The Iron Cheeks
• Cuboids are a race of people who live in the cube
• The boys always crop their memes (except Shaggy, he’s a heathen)
• Mike is the vox populi of the Cube Coffee Chain Shop

Episode ten

• Trapped for a eternity in the cube
• No dads in the cube
• Cube makes you sterile
• Neither Jack nor Mike have dad experience
• In the forests near Jack and Mike in the cube, there are no bears or wolves

Episode nine

• Both Mike and Jack have had issues with their white goods

Episode eight

• Upon entering the cube, a fat pelican pecks your eyes out, but you may be able to earn them back by performing a series of deeds that our hosts are yet to identify
• The air is thicker in the cube which allows you to more easily sense your surroundigs despite having had your eyes pecked out by the pelican
• The cube has a very bird-led culture that could be described as an aviarchy
• There is an entity in the cube known as the Coherent Cube who exists to keep continuity

Episode seven

• There’s a town in the cube
• The cube is vast and has towns
• Cubeton is a nice place, rustic
• The albatrosses act as a delivery service for items such as Lord of the Rings on Blu-ray
• Albatrosses carry items bundled in a sheet like a stork
• The cube has a ride service called Cuber
• There is a chain of off-licenses called the local Cube
• Cubl is the local supermarket. Spend a Cubl, Live a Lot
• Cubemail is an email service in the cube
• There is a cube tax that funds the albatrosses
• You will be forced to watch the Hypercube film when you arrive at the cube
• The films are part of a larger body of Cubaganda
• That’s just a cube having a gander
• Cubephrase is a gameshow in the cube
• Roy Walker is alive and well and living in the cube

Episode six

• Special guest Shaggy was found washed up on the beach in the cube
• They put him back on the beach at the end of the recording session and hid him in the sand to protect him from the albatross
• Shaggy may return to re-record the lost episode
• Sound doesn’t travel through the cube. This includes the sound of incorrect opinions.
• The albatross is a skilled drag performer
• All newcomers to the cube must survive their first tucking from the albatross
• As punishment for not finishing their recording on time, the albatross inflicts a wide variety of tucks upon the hosts
• These include being taken to, tucked in, tucked back, wearing a tuxedo, and sometimes being offered a Tuc biscuit
• After being tucked back, the albatross appraises you with the keen eye of a drag competition judge, and when satisfied flies away again
• The albatross sports the tonsur haircut made famous by Friar Tuck, and is sometimes also wearing a tuxedo (unclear if the outward appearance of the albatross is the same each time)
• Mike is in the cube as a punishment for a crime he committed as a child
• In many ways, Silent Hill is like the cube
• The cube is its own dimension or pocket reality
• However, unlike Silent Hill, the interior of the cube is quite peaceful as there are no bricks in tumble dryers

Episode five

• Mike & Jack can dance (if they want to), but only in the cube
• In the cube anything they manifest becomes real (for example, a phone, an elephant)
• They are all-powerful in the cube
• You can’t be cancelled in the cube (can’t cancel what’s trapped)
• Got trapped in the cube looking for heaven
• The cube was found at the top of the escalator to the sky
• When they entered the cube they found it contained recording equipment
• The cube is the afterlife
• Solved racism, but solution trapped in the cube
• Solved world hunger, same issue
• No prejudice, bliss in ‘ere
• There’s lots of beds here
• The cube is susceptible to copyright law
• Sponsorship deals can also get through
• The cube klaxon sounds at the end of the episode
• A lovecraftian albatross arrives when you’ve recorded too long
• The albatross defies description, but it does have wings.
• The wingspan (or one wing, or simultanously both measurements) of the albatross measures the equivalent of 19 football fields
• The albatross may be able to cancel Mike despite the anti-cancellation properties of the cube
• Jack is regularly driven to the point of madness over the albatross

Episode four

• The cube has sound dampening properties to negate the effects of the outside of the cube
• The cube is a fucking universe
• Guests can materialise in the cube
• The party’s in the cube
• In the cube, all time exists
• You are still late for the party
• In the cube, the place where you need to get the wine is always open
• In Episode 8 it was stated that the Cubists are coming, but this claim has since been disputed

Episode two